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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread

Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

arsene york-hunt 1:30 Tue May 7
Re: New Limerick Thread

A three foot four little man
Had a penis that had many fans
This randy old dwarf,
Once wanked himself orf,
With a prostitute licking his glans,

There was a young man called Bertie,
Who stank and was always dirty

HairyHammer 11:02 Mon May 6
Re: New Limerick Thread

I never knew why 'twas oft writ:
"Shut the fuck, up Hairy you tit."
But now I know
Our brains are too slow
For someone talking true shit.

A three foot four little man
Had a penis that had many fans

arsene york-hunt 1:46 Sun May 5
Re: New Limerick Thread

Now Ramadan - it starts tomorrow.
Four weeks of no food and great sorrow.
It's not very nice
Making this sacrifice,
For delusional Mumbo- Jumbo.

I never knew why 'twas oft writ:
"Shut the fuck, up Hairy you tit."

Mike Oxsaw 8:33 Sun May 5
Re: New Limerick Thread

A farmer and two poofs on a train,
Kept farting again and again.
Then one followed through,
And produced a small poo.
I think it was Cuthbert...or Wayne.

Now Ramadan - it starts tomorrow.
Four weeks of no food and great sorrow.

HairyHammer 4:56 Sun May 5
Re: New Limerick Thread

So you have just purposely fucked up a limerick to be pedantic? ok. I usually would not I doubt anyone would go to their limerick but it has been a week and no one has posted on this thread and tonight I wanted to have a little kick at the Spurs as their implosion was hilarious to see on motd, but you did not allow me that pleasure no problem I get it rules is rules more important than having fun.

Oh but this is a Limerick thread the Irony.

arsene york-hunt 2:30 Sun May 5
Re: New Limerick Thread

The Spuds lose three in a row
1-0 and their cock doesn't crow,
It aint good enough,
Replying t'your own stuff.
It's against the rules. You should know.

A farmer and two poofs on a train,
Kept farting again and again.

HairyHammer 1:15 Sun May 5
Re: New Limerick Thread

Sometimes I feel really blue
My cock is like the end of a cue
It's not easy to find
And my wife lies resigned
So I got her a toy called buzzoo

The Spuds lose three in a row
1-0 and their cock doesn't crow

HairyHammer 10:09 Sun Apr 28
Re: New Limerick Thread

At the whistle, still feeling bliss
I just had to go for a piss
So I let it all go
On a spuds fan below
He just smiled then blew me a kiss.

Sometimes I feel really blue
My cock is like the end of a cue

arsene york-hunt 6:35 Sun Apr 28
Re: New Limerick Thread

Even though the tickets were dear
And they banned every drop of beer
An old Hammer grunts
I'ts still full of cunts,
New stadium, same wankers, I fear.

At the whistle, still feeling bliss
I just had to go for a piss

eswing hammer 5:33 Sun Apr 28
Re: New Limerick Thread

It seems we have done this before,
Visit a new ground and score more
Even though they claim it’s our cup final
And there was only one urinal
When Antonio scored we did roar.,

Even though the tickets were dear
And they banned every drop of beer

Mike Oxsaw 2:40 Sun Apr 28
Re: New Limerick Thread

After weeks of swaggering around
We stuffed the cunts on their own ground
A good away win,
That's one on the spin
A record, for sure, I'll be bound.

It seems we have done this before,
Visit a new ground and score more

arsene york-hunt 2:38 Sun Apr 28
Re: New Limerick Thread

Just as I thought I'd pull some nice gash
My stomach bubbled - I had to dash
I sat on the bog
But there was no log
I just had a big Johnny Cash.

After weeks of swaggering around
We stuffed the cunts on their own fround

Far East Hammer 11:38 Wed Apr 24
Re: New Limerick Thread

An orchestra conductor called Hugh,
Tried a quiet fart, but followed through,
His arse-music loud
A vile smelling cloud
And his trousers all stained with poo

Just as I thought I'd pull some nice gash
My stomach bubbled - I had to dash

arsene york-hunt 2:58 Fri Apr 12
Re: New Limerick Thread

Diego Costa’s a chap,
Who had a little mishap
Wanking in the shower
Took over an hour,
Including a stop for a crap.

An orchestra conductor called Hugh,
Tried a quiet fart, but followed through,

Hermit Road 10:51 Fri Apr 12
Re: New Limerick Thread

I went for a paddle one day,
When, what should I see come my way?
It was rather rum,
As it came from a bum,
And upon my bald head did it lay.



Diego Costa’s a chap,
Who had a little mishap

Mike Oxsaw 9:53 Fri Apr 12
Re: New Limerick Thread

A Doctor inspected a whore
Whose rectum was getting quite sore
He advised "Face the front,"
"Make use of your cunt"
"It is, in the main, what it's for."

I went for a paddle one day,
When, what should I see come my way?

Far East Hammer 9:32 Fri Apr 12
Re: New Limerick Thread

There was a young man from the sticks,
Made a living sucking blokes dicks.
He felt quite the jerk
Couldn't find straight work
So to make ends meet performed tricks

A Doctor inspected a whore
Whose rectum was getting quite sore

arsene york-hunt 8:42 Thu Apr 11
Re: New Limerick Thread

I went to my doctor last night
Who told me with unbound delight
We'll fix it in a jiffy,
And you'll get a stiffy
Viagra will help, well it might.

There was a young man from the sticks,
Made a living sucking blokes dicks.

Mike Oxsaw 2:01 Thu Apr 11
Re: New Limerick Thread

I really am flabbergasted
Carroll's fitness has not lasted
More chance of him fit
Than getting Brexit
So cunt the whole lot in the bastard

I went to my doctor last night
Who told me with unbound delight

Far East Hammer 9:49 Thu Apr 11
Re: New Limerick Thread

There was a young man from Bangkok,
Was wiping his knob with a sock
He'd just done a bird
Up the hole of turd
Without a dunkie on his cock

I really am flabbergasted
Carroll's fitness has not lasted

arsene york-hunt 2:11 Mon Mar 11
Re: New Limerick Thread

A woman was trying to park,
Broad daylight, like - not even dark
Could not get in the space,
She completely lost face,
When she said: "Fuck this for a lark."

There was a young man from Bangkok,
Was wiping his knob with a sock

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