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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

arsene york-hunt 12:54 Sat Dec 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
Rolf Harris gave blokes half a crown
To tie his Kangaroo down

arsene york-hunt 12:53 Sat Dec 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
Andy Carroll speaks of his chagrin
At the comments his injuries bring,
These jokes may appal
But for doing fuck all
He's kept in fancy watches and bling.

Rolf Harris gave bloke half a crown
To tie his Kangaroo down

Mike the Hammer 9:59 Fri Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
Jamie Oliver causes affront
As a fat tongued mockney cunt
But his recipe's work
So he may be a berk
But he's more use than Jeremy Hunt

Andy Carroll speaks of his chagrin
At the comments his injuries bring

Helmut Shown 8:45 Fri Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
Michael Jackson just loved little boys,
Who got more to play with than just toys.
With money, it seems
You fulfil all your dreams
And the lawyers that money employs

Jamie Oliver causes affront
As a fat tongued mockney cunt

arsene york-hunt 8:14 Fri Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
He made a fortune in women's drawers
Enough to open three London stores,
And, as you may guess,
They're a roaring success.
As he staffs them with half naked whores

Michael Jackson just loved little boys,
Who got more to play with than just toys.

Helmut Shown 7:33 Fri Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
Limericks on westhamonline,
Football or filth are just fine
But on here some pricks
Talk politics
And most, to the far right align

He made a fortune in women's drawers
Enough to open three London stores

arsene york-hunt 2:10 Fri Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
Fulham, now a charity case
Will we lose when we play at their place?
Rising to the big game.
Then it's always the same,
Losing to shit is our usual shame.

Limericks on westhamonline,
Football or filth are just fine

Helmut Shown 11:30 Thu Dec 13
Re: New Limerick Thread

There once was a pervert called Ray
For girls dirty drawers he would pay
On EBay his bids
For knickers with skids
With a very pungent bouquet

Fulham, now a charity case
Will we lose when we play at their place?

Helmut Shown 11:28 Thu Dec 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
* Sorry in the last Limerick I did the last word should have read "chuff" .......fucking predictive text


There once was a pervert called Ray
For girls dirty drawers he would pay
On EBay his bids
For knickers with skids
With a very pungent bouquet

Fulham, now a charity case
Will we listened we play at their place?

arsene york-hunt 10:06 Thu Dec 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
It would seem like Theresa May
Lives to fight another day
In a premiership race
Would'd we get in her place
Perhaps a PM who is gay.

There once was a pervert called Ray
For girls dirty drawers he would pay

Helmut Shown 12:06 Thu Dec 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
He keyed in big tits and hairy muff,
On the internet he loved this stuff.
But instead of fanny
Was a picture of a granny
With a courgette stuck up her shift

It would seem like Theresa May
Lives to fight another day

arsene york-hunt 5:28 Tue Dec 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
We can't see this run lasting long
At Fulham it could go Pete Tong
But against the odds,
We could hammer these sods,
And be singing our Bubbles song.

He keyed in big tits and hairy muff,
On the internet he loved this stuff.

Mike Oxsaw 9:21 Tue Dec 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
We've just won 3 games on the spin
What parallel world are we in?
We could even win four,
Maybe a few more.
But thinking like that's just a sin

We can't see this run lasting long
At Fulham it could go Pete Tong

Mike the Hammer 10:41 Mon Dec 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
My computer display has turned green
So I wiped my knob on the screen.
Again I should have learned
And the tip has been burned
So it's off to the Docs to be seen.

We've just won 3 games on the spin
What parallel world are we in?

Mike Oxsaw 8:16 Mon Dec 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
Richard Keys was quite shocked
That his shower plughole was blocked
It seems Andy Gray
Had a cable to lay,
But the door to the khazi was locked.

My computer display has turned green
So I wiped my knob on the screen.

Helmut Shown 10:37 Sun Dec 9
Re: New Limerick Thread
The Hammers were on a big roll,
When Felipe hit his wonder goal
Some folks it will rile
That we're playing with style
So Fat Sam, stick that up your hole!

Richard Keys was quite shocked
That his shower plughole was blocked

Helmut Shown 10:37 Sun Dec 9
Re: New Limerick Thread
The Hammers were on a big roll,
When Felipe hit his wonder goal
Some folks it will rile
That we're playing with style
So Fat Sam, stick that up your hole!

Richard Keys was quite shocked
That his shower plughole was blocked

arsene york-hunt 12:55 Sun Dec 9
Re: New Limerick Thread
'm stuck at the airport again
The engineer's fixing the plane.
Two hours or more
Sitting here on the floor,
Should have taken the fucking train.

The Hammers were on a big roll,
When Felipe hit his wonder goal

arsene york-hunt 12:55 Sun Dec 9
Re: New Limerick Thread
'm stuck at the airport again
The engineer's fixing the plane.
Two hours or more
Sitting here on the floor,
Should have taken the fucking train.

The Hammers were on a big roll,
When Felipe hit his wonder goal

Mike Oxsaw 3:03 Sat Dec 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
She caught a young fellow called Mike,
Sniffing the saddle of her bike...
...so I said to the judge,
"I'm quite fond of fudge",
"I'll even sniff yours if you like".

I'm stuck at the airport again
The engineer's fixing the plane.

arsene york-hunt 2:39 Sat Dec 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a big Tart called Marge
Whose breasts were extremely large,
And I've heard that she
Contracted VD
When fucked by Nigel Farage.

(The events and, characters depicted in the above Limerick are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.)

She caught a young fellow called Mike,
Sniffing the saddle of her bike

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