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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

arsene york-hunt 7:59 Thu Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
A docker from West Felixstowe
Was walking incredibly slow,
This man named Boris,
Was seeking a Doris
Whose prices were reasonably low.

On two thirty to Charing Cross,
A man was caught having a toss.

Mike Oxsaw 6:00 Thu Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
A high end call girl from Aruba
Between clients played on her Tuba
As much as she could,
She'd play on the wood,
As that was the best way to "lube" her.

A docker from West Felixstowe
Was walking incredibly slow

arsene york-hunt 5:49 Thu Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was an old priest from Gibraltar
Had "builders bum" at the altar.
A nun cried out "Shame
Your role you defame"
A big mouth but you couldn't fault'er.

A high end call girl from Aruba
Between clients played on her Tuba

Helmut Shown 10:05 Thu Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young girl from Chile,
Fiddling with her boyfriend's willy
They thought it quite bold
Doing this when so cold
But in the middle of Piccadilly?

There was an old priest from Gibraltar
Had "builders bum" at the altar

arsene york-hunt 12:27 Wed Dec 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
She said "If you take off my drawers"
"I'll get right down here, on all fours"
Shagged her til I cum
In her minge and her bum.
I really miss Diana Dors.

There was a young girl from Chile,
Fiddling with her boyfriend's willy

Mike Oxsaw 6:44 Wed Dec 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
A prostitute from Timbuctou,
Once serviced a bloke from The Who
He paid her by card
But couldn't get hard
And her being under-age, too.

She said "If you take off my drawers"
"I'll get right down here, on all fours"

arsene york-hunt 6:46 Tue Dec 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
A young man from his girl felt deception
So in bed could not get an erection,
His no show stiffy
At the time it was iffy,
But saved him from a sexual infection.

A prostitute from Timbuctou,
Once serviced a bloke from The Who

HairyHammer 5:35 Tue Dec 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
A prostitute from Kazakhstan,
Who worked from the back of her van.
She never gave head
A cheese phobia her dread
But at licking arse, she was a big fan.

A young man from his girl felt deception
So in bed could not get an erection

arsene york-hunt 11:59 Tue Dec 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
So winter has got here at last,
With stars dying off, thick and fast.
Can't believe my eyes,
Reading of the demise.
Of those that were big in the past.

A prostitute from Kazakhstan,
Who worked from the back of her van.

Mike Oxsaw 7:06 Tue Dec 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
A man with a leak up his crack
In his hand had a carrot for a snack
He had a meat pie
Wedged in his Jap's Eye
And cheese sauce all over his sac

So winter has got here at last,
With stars dying off, thick and fast.

HairyHammer 5:29 Tue Dec 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
If ever I return to Chennai
I'm afraid that I surely will die
I could get the spicy shits
Be Chopped into tiny bits
Or be knocked off for being a spy.

A man with a leak up his crack
In his hand had a carrot for a snack

Dowies Love Child 4:26 Tue Dec 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
In a brothel in Alice Spings,
They used KY to lube the girl's rings
but a quick dab of butter
or slime from the gutter
was more than enough for the minge

If ever I return to Chennai
I'm afraid that I surely will die

arsene york-hunt 9:15 Mon Dec 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
So Cheggers has died and will now rot
So no more multi coloured swop shop.
Whatever he did do
He showed clearly that you,
Don't need talent to be at the top.

In a brothel in Alice Spings,
They used KY to lube the girl's rings

cup of tea 4:11 Mon Dec 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
It is said that the ladies of Brussels
Wore no knickers under their bustles
Even when it was chilly
All they thought about was willy
And made their money from hustles

So Cheggers has died and will now rot
So no more multi coloured swop shop

Helmut Shown 10:32 Mon Dec 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
In front of the vicar one day
A choir boy knelt down to pray
On his mind was skullduggery
Of underaged buggery
Some vicars behave that way

It is said that the ladies of Brussels
Wore no knickers under their bustles

arsene york-hunt 7:48 Sun Dec 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
Young ladies from near Muswell Hill,
Quite often do not take their pill.
It's a bit of a farce
They take it up the arse.
Because contraception makes them ill.

In front of the vicar one day
A choir boy knelt down to pray

Mike Oxsaw 6:41 Sun Dec 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
An ugly fat Turk in his cab
Was munching on a prozzie's kebab
And, par for the course,
It oozed Chilli sauce.
He claimed that it "Made it taste fab".

Young ladies from near Muswell Hill,
Quite often do not take their pill.

HairyHammer 5:19 Sun Dec 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
A four-be from Tel Aviv
Wiped all his snot on his sleeve
The nasty green gloop
He then flicked in his soup
Making all in the restaurant heave

An ugly fat Turk in his cab
Was munching on a prozzie's kebab

arsene york-hunt 12:22 Sun Dec 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
There once was an elephant called Drew
Who liked to shit in the zoo,
And a Rhino called Gus.
Who didn't like fuss,
And a Hippo that eats it's own poo.

A four-be from Tel Aviv
Wiped all his snot on his sleeve

arsene york-hunt 12:17 Sun Dec 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
Helmut Shown 11:34 Fri Dec 8

Very prescient.

cup of tea 1:03 Sat Dec 9
Re: New Limerick Thread
A girl from Rio de Janeiro
Walked on the beach eating an aero
She hated the taste
As it tasted like toothpaste
Out of ten she gave it a zero

There once was an elephant called Drew
Who liked to shit in the zoo

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