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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

arsene york-hunt 5:25 Sat Dec 16
Re: New Limerick Thread
A young man from Bolton le Moors
Would party with scabby old whores,
He shot all his cum
In minge, mouth and bum,
Then returned to his wife back indoors.

Howard from the Halifax ads.
Went out for a drink with the lads

Helmut Shown 3:30 Sat Dec 16
Re: New Limerick Thread
A Lady from Berwick-on-Tweed*
Was known to stand up when she peed
Listen to your granny
You can't aim a fanny
It'll run down your leg, guaranteed!

A young man from Bolton le Moors
Would party with scabby old whores

Mike Oxsaw 1:53 Sat Dec 16
Re: New Limerick Thread
A middle aged lady from Wick
Had never once seen a man's dick
Then Hamish McHopper
Did whip out his chopper
The sight of which made her quite sick.

A Lady from Berwick-on-Tweed*
Was known to stand up when she peed



* I KNOW, alright!!!???

Helmut Shown 1:34 Sat Dec 16
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young man from Barolo,
Who would give to you his last Rolo
But his charity would end
If, heaven forfend!
You asked him to give you a polo

A middle aged lady from Wick
Had never once seen a man's dick

arsene york-hunt 10:08 Thu Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
When caught in the royal enclosure
He was done for indecent exposure
To the House of Lords came,
And confessed his shame,
And now he's looking for closure.

There was a young man from Barolo,
Who would give to you his last Rolo

Helmut Shown 9:00 Thu Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
On two thirty to Charing Cross,
A man was caught having a toss
For pulling his pud
He's away now for good
With Rolf Harris and other such dross

When caught in the royal enclosure
He was done for indecent exposure

arsene york-hunt 7:59 Thu Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
A docker from West Felixstowe
Was walking incredibly slow,
This man named Boris,
Was seeking a Doris
Whose prices were reasonably low.

On two thirty to Charing Cross,
A man was caught having a toss.

Mike Oxsaw 6:00 Thu Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
A high end call girl from Aruba
Between clients played on her Tuba
As much as she could,
She'd play on the wood,
As that was the best way to "lube" her.

A docker from West Felixstowe
Was walking incredibly slow

arsene york-hunt 5:49 Thu Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was an old priest from Gibraltar
Had "builders bum" at the altar.
A nun cried out "Shame
Your role you defame"
A big mouth but you couldn't fault'er.

A high end call girl from Aruba
Between clients played on her Tuba

Helmut Shown 10:05 Thu Dec 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young girl from Chile,
Fiddling with her boyfriend's willy
They thought it quite bold
Doing this when so cold
But in the middle of Piccadilly?

There was an old priest from Gibraltar
Had "builders bum" at the altar

arsene york-hunt 12:27 Wed Dec 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
She said "If you take off my drawers"
"I'll get right down here, on all fours"
Shagged her til I cum
In her minge and her bum.
I really miss Diana Dors.

There was a young girl from Chile,
Fiddling with her boyfriend's willy

Mike Oxsaw 6:44 Wed Dec 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
A prostitute from Timbuctou,
Once serviced a bloke from The Who
He paid her by card
But couldn't get hard
And her being under-age, too.

She said "If you take off my drawers"
"I'll get right down here, on all fours"

arsene york-hunt 6:46 Tue Dec 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
A young man from his girl felt deception
So in bed could not get an erection,
His no show stiffy
At the time it was iffy,
But saved him from a sexual infection.

A prostitute from Timbuctou,
Once serviced a bloke from The Who

HairyHammer 5:35 Tue Dec 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
A prostitute from Kazakhstan,
Who worked from the back of her van.
She never gave head
A cheese phobia her dread
But at licking arse, she was a big fan.

A young man from his girl felt deception
So in bed could not get an erection

arsene york-hunt 11:59 Tue Dec 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
So winter has got here at last,
With stars dying off, thick and fast.
Can't believe my eyes,
Reading of the demise.
Of those that were big in the past.

A prostitute from Kazakhstan,
Who worked from the back of her van.

Mike Oxsaw 7:06 Tue Dec 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
A man with a leak up his crack
In his hand had a carrot for a snack
He had a meat pie
Wedged in his Jap's Eye
And cheese sauce all over his sac

So winter has got here at last,
With stars dying off, thick and fast.

HairyHammer 5:29 Tue Dec 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
If ever I return to Chennai
I'm afraid that I surely will die
I could get the spicy shits
Be Chopped into tiny bits
Or be knocked off for being a spy.

A man with a leak up his crack
In his hand had a carrot for a snack

Dowies Love Child 4:26 Tue Dec 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
In a brothel in Alice Spings,
They used KY to lube the girl's rings
but a quick dab of butter
or slime from the gutter
was more than enough for the minge

If ever I return to Chennai
I'm afraid that I surely will die

arsene york-hunt 9:15 Mon Dec 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
So Cheggers has died and will now rot
So no more multi coloured swop shop.
Whatever he did do
He showed clearly that you,
Don't need talent to be at the top.

In a brothel in Alice Spings,
They used KY to lube the girl's rings

cup of tea 4:11 Mon Dec 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
It is said that the ladies of Brussels
Wore no knickers under their bustles
Even when it was chilly
All they thought about was willy
And made their money from hustles

So Cheggers has died and will now rot
So no more multi coloured swop shop

Helmut Shown 10:32 Mon Dec 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
In front of the vicar one day
A choir boy knelt down to pray
On his mind was skullduggery
Of underaged buggery
Some vicars behave that way

It is said that the ladies of Brussels
Wore no knickers under their bustles

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