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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

arsene york-hunt 4:05 Thu Oct 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
A dainty young lady from Dorking
Was fond of a jolly good porking.
When walking through town,
She take her knickers down
Because her mutton she was hawking.

In a brothel in Harare,
Worked a cute young girl called Marie.

doomhunk 11:35 Wed Oct 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
FFS

With a cock as dead as can be
A thumb up his arse was the key.
When wiggled just right
He became quite the sight
As it seemed he’d not two legs but three.


A dainty young lady from Dorking
Was fond of a jolly good porking.

doomhunk 11:35 Wed Oct 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
With a cock as dead as can be
A thumb up his arse was the key.
When wiggled just right
He became quite the sight
As it seemed he’d not two legs but three.


A dainty young lady from adoring
Was fond of a jolly good porking.

HairyHammer 11:18 Wed Oct 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
In a brothel in Auchenshoogle
A young lady Rosie McDougal
Had only one breast
Still Men thought her blessed
As her vag smelt like apple strudel

With a cock as dead as can be
A thumb up his arse was the key

arsene york-hunt 2:43 Wed Oct 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
This is not about you, move along,
You smelly, fat, old, balding mong.
It's about Auntie Pat
Who ,it's said, once shat,
On a glass table for Mao Zedong

In a brothel in Auchenshoogle
A young lady Rosie McDougal

Mike Oxsaw 7:36 Tue Oct 16
Re: New Limerick Thread
A WPC called Joy
Once arrested a young rent boy
He was sucking a willy
Just off Piccadilly
Whilst wanking an old diddycoy.

This is not about you, move along,
You smelly, fat, old, balding mong.

arsene york-hunt 3:46 Tue Oct 16
Re: New Limerick Thread
As he lay in a haystack asleep,
He was awoken by a randy sheep,
He said with a scoff,
Would you please fuck off,
And send in that Little Bo Peep.

A WPC called Joy
Once arrested a young rent boy

arsene york-hunt 3:46 Tue Oct 16
Re: New Limerick Thread
As he lay in a haystack asleep,
He was awoken by a randy sheep,
He said with a scoff,
Would you please fuck off,
And send in that Little Bo Peep.

A WPC called Joy
Once arrested a young rent boy

Helmut Shown 1:38 Mon Oct 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
He was wandering past St. Paul's
Innocently scratching his balls
Said a passing bobby
"You're stroking your knobby"
As it poked out through a hole in his smalls

As he lay in a haystack asleep,
He was awoken by a randy sheep

arsene york-hunt 2:03 Mon Oct 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
The captain on his jumbo jet,
Did offer the purser a bet
"The vice captain I say,
Is certainly gay.
Has he bummed the new steward yet?"

He was wandering past St. Paul's
Innocently scratching his balls

Mike Oxsaw 9:11 Sun Oct 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
While out for a night on the lash
She was looking for somewhere to slash
So she found some old tramp
And made him quite damp
With a torrent of piss from her gash.

The captain on his jumbo jet,
Did offer the purser a bet

Helmut Shown 9:40 Sun Oct 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
While out on a trip in Bangkok
A Sailor had a tattoo on his cock
When flaccid and forlorn
It said "Women", but on the horn
Said "Welcome to Dagenham Dock"

While out for a night on the lash
She was looking for somewhere to slash

The Stoat 6:20 Sat Oct 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
A young man from Leigh on Sea.
Tried to shag in a brothel for free.
He was sent out the back
For a cheap piece of crack
Where he caught a bad case of VD

While out on a trip in Bangkok
A Sailor had a tatoo on his cock

arsene york-hunt 4:30 Sat Oct 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
A a sleazy bloke called bob
Called a hooker for a hand job
It went not as planned
She'd a very big hand
And he had a very small knob.

A young man from Leigh on Sea.
Tried to shag in a brothel for free.

Darlo Debs 2:43 Sat Oct 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
oops

A a sleazy bloke called bob
Called a hooker for a hand job

Darlo Debs 2:41 Sat Oct 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
Whilst passing a bus on the road,
I wondered just why had it slowed?
The car in front
Had had a shunt
With a driver dressed as a toad.

Mike Oxsaw 2:34 Sat Oct 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young lady from Delhi.
Had a rude tattoo on her belly
I know this is true
But it means "Vindaloo"
I saw it one day on the telly.

Whilst passing a bus on the road,
I wondered just why had it slowed?

arsene york-hunt 2:17 Sat Oct 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
The vicar of Stow-on-the-Wold
In vestry one day, felt the cold
For God's help he cried
As he slowly died
Of hypothermia I'm told.

There was a young lady from Delhi.
Had a rude tattoo on her belly

Mike Oxsaw 3:54 Fri Oct 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
Yet another tottenham rhyme,
You know we're obsessed with this slime.
But - they've got their own ground,
That I'm sure will be sound...
Provided it's finished on time.

The vicar of Stow-on-the-Wold
In vestry one day, felt the cold

joe blob 2:40 Fri Oct 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
Donald Trump tried something new
He sent a Tweet that was true
He said: "I'll be blunt-
I know I'm acunt-
But I'm here for the girls i can screw."

Yet another tottenham rhyme,
You know we're obsessed with this slime.

Far East Hammer 10:59 Fri Oct 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young man from Playa Blanca
Who made his living as a banker
Making his money
In manners funny
No surprise he was a right wanker

Donald Trump tried something new
He sent a Tweet that was true

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