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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

Helmut Shown 1:38 Mon Oct 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
He was wandering past St. Paul's
Innocently scratching his balls
Said a passing bobby
"You're stroking your knobby"
As it poked out through a hole in his smalls

As he lay in a haystack asleep,
He was awoken by a randy sheep

arsene york-hunt 2:03 Mon Oct 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
The captain on his jumbo jet,
Did offer the purser a bet
"The vice captain I say,
Is certainly gay.
Has he bummed the new steward yet?"

He was wandering past St. Paul's
Innocently scratching his balls

Mike Oxsaw 9:11 Sun Oct 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
While out for a night on the lash
She was looking for somewhere to slash
So she found some old tramp
And made him quite damp
With a torrent of piss from her gash.

The captain on his jumbo jet,
Did offer the purser a bet

Helmut Shown 9:40 Sun Oct 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
While out on a trip in Bangkok
A Sailor had a tattoo on his cock
When flaccid and forlorn
It said "Women", but on the horn
Said "Welcome to Dagenham Dock"

While out for a night on the lash
She was looking for somewhere to slash

The Stoat 6:20 Sat Oct 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
A young man from Leigh on Sea.
Tried to shag in a brothel for free.
He was sent out the back
For a cheap piece of crack
Where he caught a bad case of VD

While out on a trip in Bangkok
A Sailor had a tatoo on his cock

arsene york-hunt 4:30 Sat Oct 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
A a sleazy bloke called bob
Called a hooker for a hand job
It went not as planned
She'd a very big hand
And he had a very small knob.

A young man from Leigh on Sea.
Tried to shag in a brothel for free.

Darlo Debs 2:43 Sat Oct 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
oops

A a sleazy bloke called bob
Called a hooker for a hand job

Darlo Debs 2:41 Sat Oct 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
Whilst passing a bus on the road,
I wondered just why had it slowed?
The car in front
Had had a shunt
With a driver dressed as a toad.

Mike Oxsaw 2:34 Sat Oct 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young lady from Delhi.
Had a rude tattoo on her belly
I know this is true
But it means "Vindaloo"
I saw it one day on the telly.

Whilst passing a bus on the road,
I wondered just why had it slowed?

arsene york-hunt 2:17 Sat Oct 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
The vicar of Stow-on-the-Wold
In vestry one day, felt the cold
For God's help he cried
As he slowly died
Of hypothermia I'm told.

There was a young lady from Delhi.
Had a rude tattoo on her belly

Mike Oxsaw 3:54 Fri Oct 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
Yet another tottenham rhyme,
You know we're obsessed with this slime.
But - they've got their own ground,
That I'm sure will be sound...
Provided it's finished on time.

The vicar of Stow-on-the-Wold
In vestry one day, felt the cold

joe blob 2:40 Fri Oct 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
Donald Trump tried something new
He sent a Tweet that was true
He said: "I'll be blunt-
I know I'm acunt-
But I'm here for the girls i can screw."

Yet another tottenham rhyme,
You know we're obsessed with this slime.

Far East Hammer 10:59 Fri Oct 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young man from Playa Blanca
Who made his living as a banker
Making his money
In manners funny
No surprise he was a right wanker

Donald Trump tried something new
He sent a Tweet that was true

Helmut Shown 8:53 Thu Oct 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
There once was a young man called Green
Bought a pumpkin for haloween
Big nose and big eyes
And just to emphasise
Big lips, it was Idi Amin

There was a young man from Playa Blanca
Who made his living as a banker

arsene york-hunt 7:20 Sat Oct 6
Re: New Limerick Thread
Now. Sit. Let me spin you a yarn,
While we're here, by this clear sparkling tarn,
This tale, I once read
Of a girl who was dead
But was fucked by three blokes in a barn.

There once was a young man called Green
Bought a pumpkin for haloween

Mike Oxsaw 4:19 Sat Oct 6
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was an old man who used to mutter
about covering himself in peanut butter
But, try as he might,
It didn't feel right
So, he laid down and died, in the gutter.

Now. Sit. Let me spin you a yarn,
While we're here, by this clear sparkling tarn

cup of tea 3:52 Sat Oct 6
Re: New Limerick Thread
They've Glenn Murray playing up front
to some a diving cunt
But whatever you say
Even if he is gay
Hes better than me to be blunt

There was an old man who used to mutter
about coverering himself in peanut butter

Helmut Shown 4:01 Fri Oct 5
Re: New Limerick Thread
Jose is looking a bit glum
and is disliked by a particular one
The look on his face
Not out of place
On someone just raped up the bum

They've Glenn Murray playing up front
to some a diving cunt

Darlo Debs 1:06 Thu Oct 4
Re: New Limerick Thread
The Manure fans are sick to a man,
After losing to poxy West Ham
They'll get rid of their boss
They dont giive a toss
..and end up with big fat Sam



Jose is looking a bit glum
and is disliked by a particular one

joe blob 12:59 Thu Oct 4
Re: New Limerick Thread
The Tottenham squad I'm guessin'
Are shell shocked since their Messi lesson.
More games like this please,
As I feel an unease
Til the cunts are out. I'm confessin'.

The Manure fans are sick to a man,
After losing to poxy West Ham.

Helmut Shown 12:30 Thu Oct 4
Re: New Limerick Thread
At tottenham fan Abraham
In secret tried a piece of ham
But the poor 4b2
Couldn't follow through
It got caught in his diaphragm

The Tottenham squad I'm guessin'
Are shell shocked since their Messi lesson

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