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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

Mike the Hammer 10:41 Mon Dec 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
My computer display has turned green
So I wiped my knob on the screen.
Again I should have learned
And the tip has been burned
So it's off to the Docs to be seen.

We've just won 3 games on the spin
What parallel world are we in?

Mike Oxsaw 8:16 Mon Dec 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
Richard Keys was quite shocked
That his shower plughole was blocked
It seems Andy Gray
Had a cable to lay,
But the door to the khazi was locked.

My computer display has turned green
So I wiped my knob on the screen.

Helmut Shown 10:37 Sun Dec 9
Re: New Limerick Thread
The Hammers were on a big roll,
When Felipe hit his wonder goal
Some folks it will rile
That we're playing with style
So Fat Sam, stick that up your hole!

Richard Keys was quite shocked
That his shower plughole was blocked

Helmut Shown 10:37 Sun Dec 9
Re: New Limerick Thread
The Hammers were on a big roll,
When Felipe hit his wonder goal
Some folks it will rile
That we're playing with style
So Fat Sam, stick that up your hole!

Richard Keys was quite shocked
That his shower plughole was blocked

arsene york-hunt 12:55 Sun Dec 9
Re: New Limerick Thread
'm stuck at the airport again
The engineer's fixing the plane.
Two hours or more
Sitting here on the floor,
Should have taken the fucking train.

The Hammers were on a big roll,
When Felipe hit his wonder goal

arsene york-hunt 12:55 Sun Dec 9
Re: New Limerick Thread
'm stuck at the airport again
The engineer's fixing the plane.
Two hours or more
Sitting here on the floor,
Should have taken the fucking train.

The Hammers were on a big roll,
When Felipe hit his wonder goal

Mike Oxsaw 3:03 Sat Dec 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
She caught a young fellow called Mike,
Sniffing the saddle of her bike...
...so I said to the judge,
"I'm quite fond of fudge",
"I'll even sniff yours if you like".

I'm stuck at the airport again
The engineer's fixing the plane.

arsene york-hunt 2:39 Sat Dec 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a big Tart called Marge
Whose breasts were extremely large,
And I've heard that she
Contracted VD
When fucked by Nigel Farage.

(The events and, characters depicted in the above Limerick are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.)

She caught a young fellow called Mike,
Sniffing the saddle of her bike

Helmut Shown 8:40 Fri Dec 7
Re: New Limerick Thread
An African's bollocks swung free,
They nearly hung down to his knee.
She gave him a rollicking
For giving her a bollocking
As his balls hit her back rapidly

There was a big part called Marge
Whose breasts were extremely large

arsene york-hunt 6:43 Fri Dec 7
Re: New Limerick Thread
A retired man thought it was fun
To look for a place in the sun,
So he packed his pyjamas,
Moved to the Bahamas,
'Cos his lottery ticket had won.

An African's bollocks swung free,
They nearly hung down to his knee.

Helmut Shown 9:12 Wed Dec 5
Re: New Limerick Thread
A tart from the Isle of St Kitts,
Had an op. to enlarge her tits
Although they got bigger
It fucked up her figure
Low hanging fruit? It's just the pits

A retired man thought it was fun
To look for a place in the sun

arsene york-hunt 3:51 Tue Dec 4
Re: New Limerick Thread
The draw. We all wanted the scum.
Instead, we're at home to the Brum.
There'll be a big crowd.
Our fans will be loud,
And send back these shits to their slum.

A tart from the Isle of St Kitts,
Had an op. to enlarge her tits

Mike Oxsaw 10:07 Mon Dec 3
Re: New Limerick Thread
The History class was in shock
When the teacher took out his cock
For the teacher was "Miss",
So they all took the piss
And now she works down at the dock.

The draw. We all wanted the scum.
Instead, we're at home to the Brum.

arsene york-hunt 12:32 Wed Nov 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young girl from Hull
Had her chips nicked by a seagull
On trying it's next trick,
She hit it with a brick
Thereby cracking it's avian skull.

The History class was in shock
When the teacher took out his cock

Helmut Shown 12:02 Wed Nov 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
You call it a truck, you'll be sorry.
In England we call it a lorry.
Those northern chaps
Would have a fit of the craps
As they sat with their pie watching Corrie

There was a young girl from Hull
Had her chips nicked by a seagull

Mike Oxsaw 4:12 Mon Nov 26
Re: New Limerick Thread
It's said that old Friar Tuck
Once suffered very bad luck
When crossig a road
Was surprised by a toad,
Then knocked down and killed by a truck.

You call it a truck, you'll be sorry.
In England we call it a lorry.

arsene york-hunt 3:35 Mon Nov 26
Re: New Limerick Thread
The clerk at the grocery store,
Was standing, one day, by the door.,
Wanting to converse,
But to be very terse,
Most avoided, as he was a bore.

It's said that old Friar Tuck
Once suffered very bad luck

Mike Oxsaw 1:51 Sat Nov 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young chap who was Dutch
Liked sniffing used drawers at the crutch
But the kegs of a dyke,
Who'd just been on a bike,
For him, was an odour too much.

The clerk at the grocery store,
Was standing, one day, by the door.

arsene york-hunt 1:13 Sat Nov 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
The Citeh boys are arriving
Will we get another hiding?
The answer, I'd guess
Is a resounding yes,
And down the league we'll be sliding.

There was a young chap who was Dutch
Liked sniffing used drawers at the crutch

Far East Hammer 5:59 Sat Nov 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young lady from Brum
Her party trick - flashing her bum
Not much of a looker
Unsuccessful hooker
She didn't like the taste of cum

The Citeh boys are arriving
Will we get another hiding?

Helmut Shown 1:05 Sat Nov 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
I once met a Lebanese Druze
While on a riverboat cruise.
The twat (a real shocker)
Called football "soccer"
And of course supported "the blues"

There was a young lady from Brum
Her party trick - flashing her bum

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