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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

Helmut Shown 6:36 Tue Apr 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
An Emperor in old Beijing,
Spent all day playing with his thing
When he went to his bed
A slave would give head
While another would tongue 'round his ring

With his hand up her skirt he felt
She was wearing a chastity belt

arsene york-hunt 12:48 Tue Apr 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
Yet another royal brat, what a ponce
Lets hope he doesn't turn out to be a nonce,
Yet another toff
I wish they'd fuck off
Treating us with complete nonchalance,

An Emperor in old Beijing,
Spent all day playing with his thing.

cup of tea 4:20 Mon Apr 23
Re: New Limerick Thread
David Moyes was seeking inspiration
Watched Fat Sam's tedium demonstration
Some called him an oaf
But in fact used his loaf
Whilst jerking his cock fast masturbation

Yet another royal brat, what a ponce
Lets hope he doesn't turn out to be a nonce

Far East Hammer 12:35 Mon Apr 23
Re: New Limerick Thread
Of the mile high club he dreamed
So with the local old slapper he teamed
Aboard Ryanair
This desperate pair
Saw the state of the loo then demurred

David Moyes was seeking inspiration
Watched Fat Sam's tedium demonstration

Helmut Shown 10:38 Mon Apr 23
Re: New Limerick Thread
As we approach with sun month of May
Birds with tits out in the sun I do prey
As I wait in the bushes
I dont look at their mooshes
Tossing off in my beret

Of the mile high club he dreamed
So with the local old slapper he teamed

cup of tea 4:44 Sat Apr 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
A young man from round Clapham Junction,
To a sore on his knob applied unction.
It was red raw from wanking
whilst doing on line banking
before setting off for his function

As we approach with sun month of May
Birds with tits out in the sun I do prey

arsene york-hunt 3:20 Sat Apr 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
To stand as man when you fart
Keeps you and the lesser apart
Lift one cheek from a chair,
To release the foul air,
Is bloody poor form for a start.

A young man from round Clapham Junction,
To a sore on his knob applied unction.

Helmut Shown 9:04 Fri Apr 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young man from Broadstairs,
Who wore platform soles and Lionel Blairs
When they were in fashion
Fing'ring the only passion
And the girls kept their pubic hairs

To stand as man when you fart
Keeps you and the lesser apart

arsene york-hunt 7:34 Fri Apr 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
When out on his daily stroll
He tripped and fell in a pothole,
He was covered in muck,
And said: "What the fuck?"
But carried on to reach his goal.

There was a young man from Broadstairs,
Who wore platform soles and Lionel Blairs

Helmut Shown 11:46 Fri Apr 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
In Vicksburg on the Mississippi,
The prostitute got rather lippy
She really detested
What her pimp had suggested
She'd do with Bungle and Zippy

When out on his daily stroll
He tripped and fell in a pothole

arsene york-hunt 3:09 Fri Apr 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
A woman from Clacton on Sea
In her arse was stung by a bee
Of good hygeine bereft,
in her gluteal cleft,
The doc saw dried shit and a flea.

In Vicksburg on the Mississippi,
The prostitute got rather lippy

HairyHammer 1:22 Fri Apr 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
The last months have been a pain
You go out and it pisses with rain
But the past few day's
I've been blessed with ray's
Why? cos I've pissed of to Spain.

A woman from Clacton on Sea
In her arse was stung by a bee

Helmut Shown 8:56 Thu Apr 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
A young lady from near New Orleans
Had an unsightly stain on her jeans
On something she sat?
No, I think she shat
Shouldn't have eaten those beans

The last months have been a pain
You go out and it pisses with rain

arsene york-hunt 8:10 Thu Apr 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
Alwaysaniron 10:10 Thu Apr 19

"Flouncing" the rules was he? Shocking!

arsene york-hunt 8:08 Thu Apr 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
Some posters just don't "get" this site,
They're "cool", and they're "smart and they're..."bright".
But their minds are quite small,
Thinking they know it all
And one thing they aint is polite.

A young lady from near New Orleans
Had an unsightly stain on her jeans

Mike Oxsaw 7:51 Thu Apr 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
The weather outside is a delight
Oh fuck a fat bird what a sight
Armpits soaking wet
And an arse that is set
In black sweat pants two sizes too tight.

Some posters just don't "get" this site,
They're "cool", and they're "smart and they're..."bright".

Helmut Shown 7:39 Thu Apr 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
Alwaysaniron 10:10 Thu Apr 19
Re: New Limerick Thread .

Was it the reference to "the unlubed back door"?

cup of tea 1:28 Thu Apr 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
These knifings and shootings by gangs
Would stop if the culprit hangs
Whether black, white or chink
This whole country stinks
"i'm pissed off with it all"I once sang

The weather outside is a delight
Oh fuck a fat bird what a sight

Alwaysaniron 10:12 Thu Apr 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
*Shown

Alwaysaniron 10:10 Thu Apr 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
Mods mods

Helmut shewn must be banned from the site with immediate effect for flagrantly flouncing the rules of the Limerick Thread.

I demand action is take.

Helmut Shown 5:58 Wed Apr 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young man from Warsaw,
Went to have his first sex with a whore
He missed out on love
As he tried to shove
His erection in her unlubed back door

These knifings and shootings by gangs
Would stop if the culprit hangs

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