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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

Mike Oxsaw 10:26 Fri Jan 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
Which boy would Michael Jackson choose,
To toss him once plied with some booze
Why, one with blue eyes,
And silky white thighs
Perfect - for the six o'clock news.

There's wind and there's rain and there's snow.
I wish this shit weather would go

arsene york-hunt 1:57 Fri Jan 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
Four loaves and five fishes for the throng
No Vegan option, so wrong!
"You're vegans" He said,
"Just eat fucking bread-
These cunts think their shit doesn't pong."

Which boy would Michael Jackson choose,
To toss him once plied with some booze

Helmut Shown 12:56 Fri Jan 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
He came down with tablets of stone.
"Oh! Moses!", the people did groan,
"Adultery banned
So just use your hand"
With that one he's out on his own

Four loaves and five fishes for the throng
No Vegan option, so wrong!

Mike Oxsaw 11:38 Fri Jan 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young girl from East Cheam
Who sat down and mused by a stream
The water flowed past,
But not very fast -
She drifted of into a dream.

He came down with tablets of stone.
"Oh! Moses!", the people did groan,

Helmut Shown 11:27 Fri Jan 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
A lady with very big Tit's
Had a stalker who always did shits
As she'd come to her door
There'd be shit on the floor
It was driving her out of her wits

There was a young girl from East Cheam
Who sat down and mused by a stream

HairyHammer 10:36 Fri Jan 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
Old Steptoe was smiling at men
In a public bog near South Ken.
But not one of them gay
So for Steptoe no play
So off to his haunt The Old Den

A lady with very big Tit's
Had a stalker who always did shits

arsene york-hunt 2:51 Fri Jan 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
Peter Wyngarde from grace had a fall
Sucking blokes off through a hole in the wall
The Police without tact,
Caught them both in the act,
A trap that the coppers did trawl

.Old Steptoe was smiling at men
In a public bog near South Ken.

Helmut Shown 1:08 Fri Jan 19
Re: New Limerick Thread

Said Mr Spock to Captain Kirk
The warp drive's in need of some work
Engineering's a shower
We're on impulse power
And that fucking Scotty's a Berk

Peter Wyngarde from grace had a fall
Sucking blokes off through a hole in the wall

arsene york-hunt 10:38 Thu Jan 18
Re: New Limerick Thread

I think I might get up and dance.
To pop, maybe hip-hop or trance
I'll do any stuff,
To pick up some muff
My dick is in need of romance.

Said Mr Spock to Captain Kirk
The warp drive's in need of some work

Mike Oxsaw 2:55 Thu Jan 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
In Pattaya a tourist called Roy,
Was seeking a young ladyboy
Presented complete
With a full three-piece suite
It offered our traveller such joy.

I think I might get up and dance.
To pop, maybe hip-hop or trance

arsene york-hunt 2:30 Thu Jan 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
As he prepared to go down on his girl
Both a cock and a cunt did unfurl,
At the unusual sight
Of this hemaphrodide
he thought, "I will give it a whirl."

In Pattaya a tourist called Roy,
Was seeking a young ladyboy

Helmut Shown 12:57 Thu Jan 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
An eye for an eye screamed a tramp
When on his mates groin he did stamp
"You've pissed my sleeping bag
You dirty fucking slag
Now its permanently damp"

As he prepared to go down on his girl
Both a cock and a cunt did unfurl

Kaiser Zoso 9:51 Thu Jan 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
Here was a fake Turk called Nick
Who got on everyone’s wick
His bird was a model
He thought it’s a doddle
But he just makes everyone sick

HairyHammer 9:43 Thu Jan 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
At an inopportune time I farted
And couldn't stop once I had started
An embarrassing bane
I was on a packed train
Next stop rudely off I was carted.

An eye for an eye screamed a tramp
When on his mates groin he did stamp

Far East Hammer 5:50 Thu Jan 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
A man trav'lling the DLR
Dropped a huge turd in the front car
An ungodly sight
Quite late at night
And with a stench carrying far

At an inopportune time I farted
And couldn't stop once I had started

arsene york-hunt 3:48 Thu Jan 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
A doctor who lied for the Trump
Said he's fitter than Forrest Gump,
He did it in hope,
Of a brown envelope,
The sum to be all in one lump.

A man trav'lling the DLR
Dropped a huge turd in the front car

HairyHammer 12:43 Thu Jan 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
I used to turn left on the plane.
I don't think I'll do it again.
The pilots go mental
As they want to fly central
So now I will hijack a train.

A doctor who lied for the Trump
Said he's even fitter than Forrest Gump

Mike Oxsaw 10:37 Wed Jan 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
A lady from the Shetland isles
Tried a new cure for her piles
A serious go,
On a massive dildo;
The squelching could be heard for miles.

I used to turn left on the plane.
I don't think I'll do it again.

Helmut Shown 10:19 Wed Jan 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
Walking in from Hackney Wick,
I saw something that made me sick.
In a public place
She pissed on his face
And he cleaned her off with a lick

A lady from the Shetland isles
Tried a new cure for her piles

arsene york-hunt 6:06 Wed Jan 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
Now. Can we advance in the cup?
Or will the club sell us a pup?
Based on tonight's show
You'd have to say no,
They only care about staying up.

Walking in from Hackney Wick,
I saw something that made me sick.

Mike Oxsaw 9:19 Tue Jan 16
Re: New Limerick Thread
I can not make any sense of it,
When playing shit teams we play shit
As long as we play
The old West Ham way
The fans really don't mind a bit

Now. Can we advance in the cup?
Or will the club sell us a pup?

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