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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

arsene york-hunt 2:24 Fri Feb 22
Re: New Limerick Thread
Will we be on rocket fuel
With the return to the team of The Jewel?
But whenever, it seems,
We are playing shit teams,
We play like a pub team from Ewell.

Will we have them over a barrel.
When we bring on mighty Andy Carroll

Helmut Shown 10:37 Thu Feb 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
David Icke's planned tour of down under
unfortunately has been blown quite asunder
To launch an appeal
He has made a new deal
With a sympathetic crowdfunder

Will we be on rocket fuel
With the return to the team of The Jewel?

Dowies Love Child 8:40 Thu Feb 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
There one was a young man named Paul,
Who shagged a girl from Senegal
While her fanny was huge
with flaps bulbous and rouge
and a stench that could truly appall

David Icke's planned tour of down under
unfortunately has been blown quite asunder

arsene york-hunt 1:08 Thu Feb 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
A plumber from down in the south
Walked home with a kebab in his mouth
I'm fed up with this life,
He told his lady wife,
Next week we're moving to Louth.

There one was a young man named Paul,
Who shagged a girl from Senegal

cup of tea 2:46 Wed Feb 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
A morris Dancer from Crewe,
Once had a bad Vindaloo
Madras it was not
But it was fucking hot
So much so he had to go poo

A plumber from down in the south
Walked home with a kebab in his mouth

arsene york-hunt 2:19 Wed Feb 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
That 100 vaginas on the box?
Mostly lesbians on their soapbox,
If it's cunts that you seek,
See them every week,
Watch tottenham hotspur on Fox.

A morris Dancer from Crewe,
Once had a bad Vindaloo

arsene york-hunt 2:19 Wed Feb 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
That 100 vaginas on the box?
Mostly lesbians on their soapbox,
If it's cunts that you seek,
See them every week,
Watch tottenham hotspur on Fox.

A morris Dancer from Crewe,
Once had a bad Vindaloo

Helmut Shown 1:44 Wed Feb 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
The next James Bond, I read on a tweet,
It's Tyrone from Coronation Street
Champagne to get tiddly?
No Newton and Ridley
"Mah name's Bond, James Bond. Ya allreet?"

That 100 vaginas on the box?
Mostly lesbians on their soapbox

arsene york-hunt 12:18 Wed Feb 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
As she did yoga to keep herself fit
from her shorts dropped a nugget of shit,
It was hot, brown and stank
She was a dirty skank,
And to think she once dated Brad Pitt.

The next James Bond, I read on a tweet,
It's Tyrone from Coronation Street

Helmut Shown 9:34 Tue Feb 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young girl called Vera,
Who went on a trip to Madeira.
Her Ryanair flight
She thought it was shite
So next time she'll fly somewhere nearer

As she did yoga to keep herself fit
from her shorts dropped a nugget of shit

arsene york-hunt 7:19 Tue Feb 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a girl from the Azores
Would often go out without drawers,
She would make many cringe,
By exposing her minge
When crawling around on all fours.

There was a young girl called Vera,
Who went on a trip to Madeira.

Helmut Shown 6:46 Tue Feb 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
A young man from near Eritrea
Dressed up like he was a big gayer
In a thong he did come
To get chaps on his bum
The sole taker was an Irish bricklayer

There was a girl from the Azores
Would often go out without drawers

cup of tea 4:19 Tue Feb 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young geezer called Monk
Went sailing on a chinese junk.
In seas that were rough
He liked licking muff
Until he exploded with spunk

A young man from near Eritrea
Dressed up like he was a big gayer

arsene york-hunt 12:01 Tue Feb 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
As he rose from his seat to depart
The vicar let out a loud fart,
"You can't do that here,"
Said a voice from quite near,
"After all this is the D'Oyly Carte."

There was a young geezer called Monk
Went sailing on a chinese junk.

Helmut Shown 9:09 Mon Feb 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young scotsman called Rab
Fucked a bird wearing but a Niqab
As he went for her clit
There was nowt but a split
Mutilated, all slit and no flab

As he rose from his seat to depart
The vicar let out a loud fart

arsene york-hunt 2:08 Mon Feb 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
The big teams think that it'd be nice
If West Ham would auction off Rice.
To amuse Olly Murs*,
Or even worse spurs,
Although those cunts can't pay the price.

* Some kind of childrens entertainer who comes from Chelmsford but support Man Utd, ie a cunt.

There was a young scotsman called Rab
Fucked a bird wearing but a Niqab

Helmut Shown 11:45 Mon Feb 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
It's rumoured that Begum bint said
"I'll give you some head for a head".
'neath her hibjab, as feared
Was a fucking big beard
It was Colin and he came from Wanstead

The big teams think that it'd be nice
If West Ham would auction off Rice

Mike Oxsaw 10:01 Sun Feb 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
It's said that Shamima Begum,
To her motherland wishes to come,
And not only that,
Her fucking fat brat!
Quite frankly, I think it's all rum.

It's rumoured that Begum bint said
"I'll give you some head for a head".

arsene york-hunt 1:31 Sun Feb 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
Will the premier league next year be blighted?
By those thieving cunts Sheffield United,
The cap easily fits.
These unsporting shits,
If they implode, I will be delighted.

It's said that Shamima Begum,
To her motherland wishes to come,

Helmut Shown 12:14 Sun Feb 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
I wanted to train as a Ninja,
But found out the Master was ginger
a kilt and big beard
A man to be feared
With trained hands that could certainly injure

Will the premier league next year be blighted?
By those thieving cunts Sheffield United

arsene york-hunt 2:14 Sat Feb 16
Re: New Limerick Thread
I've been to Southend Pier
And could smell everyone that was near,
Surrounded by chavs,
And gypsies, and slavs
The Dame Judy put me off my beer.

I wanted to train as a Ninja,
But found out the Master was ginger

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