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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

arsene york-hunt 5:06 Sun Jan 6
Re: New Limerick Thread

That chap from Bonanza - Lorne Greene
Was oft in a porno shop seen
He'd covered his eyes,
And put on a disguise,
So no-one would know where he'd been.

His co-star who played Little Joe,
In the local brothel would go

Mike Oxsaw 3:56 Sun Jan 6
Re: New Limerick Thread
It was said that the Vulcan Spock
Had no wife but kept a wank sock
To the doc he would show it,
"Not life, as we know it",
But it cooked up quite nice in a wok.

That chap from Bonanza - Lorne Greene
Was oft in a porno shop seen

Helmut Shown 3:54 Sun Jan 6
Re: New Limerick Thread
Elizabeth Barrett Browning,
After several pints she was downing
Would sit legs apart
And drop a large fart
And leave all around her frowning

It was said that the Vulcan Spock
Had no wife but kept a wank sock

Helmut Shown 3:53 Sun Jan 6
Re: New Limerick Thread
Elizabeth Barrett Browning,
After several pints she was downing
Would sit legs apart
And drop a large fart
And leave all around her crowning

It was said that the Vulcan Spock
Had no wife but kept a wank sock

Helmut Shown 3:51 Sun Jan 6
Re: New Limerick Thread
Elizabeth Barrett Browning,
After several pints she was downing
Would sit legs apart
And drop a large fart
And leave all around her crowning

It was said that the Vulcan Spock
Had no wife but kept a wank sock

arsene york-hunt 5:39 Sun Dec 30
Re: New Limerick Thread
It’s reported the poet Blake
Did unusual things with a flake
Mixed with raisins and shit
To his bloke said "Eat it!"
As he'd told him it was Christmas cake.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning,
After several pints she was downing

Helmut Shown 5:04 Sun Dec 30
Re: New Limerick Thread
It is said that the poet Shelley
Rubbed his face in drawers that were smelly
Then he progressed
To scat, he confessed
“I like ‘em to shit on my belly”

It’s reported the poet Blake
Did unusual things with a flake

arsene york-hunt 1:33 Sun Dec 30
Re: New Limerick Thread
It was said that the poet Keats
Liked to sniff young girls bicycle seats,
And so many times,
It inspired his rhymes ,
That he put out on internet tweets.

It is said that the poet Shelley
Rubbed his face in drawers that were smelly

Helmut Shown 11:47 Sat Dec 29
Re: New Limerick Thread
There once was a pervert called Abel
Asked boys to shit on a glass table
As he waited below
For the turtle head show
And the boys to lay down a cable

It was said that the poet Keats
Liked to sniff young girls bicycle seats

arsene york-hunt 11:13 Fri Dec 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
A sailor we call captain Leroy,
Had sailed as a man and a boy,
Say to him "Hello Chum,
I'm in need of a bum."
And he'll give your sphincter much joy.

There once was a pervert called Abel
Asked boys to shit on a glass table

jack flash 10:07 Fri Dec 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
A man who crossed the Arctic
Had frostbite on the end of his dick,
He threw on some jam,
And said to a fan,
It's cold, but it's well worth a lick

A sailor we call captain Leroy,
Had sailed as a man and a boy,

Helmut Shown 9:46 Fri Dec 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
A dominatrix Marilyn
Dished out some rough discipline
If you paid the right ackers
She'd step on your knackers
And stick a nail in your foreskin

A man who crossed the Arctic
Had frostbite on the end of his dick

arsene york-hunt 2:00 Thu Dec 27
Re: New Limerick Thread
Cameron put on his coat
And fucked off after the Brexit vote,
Now after Brexit,
We'll be right in the shit,
Thank you, you Etonian scrote.

A dominatrix Marilyn
Dished out some rough discipline.

Helmut Shown 12:16 Thu Dec 27
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young man called Ray
Worked in sewers on boxing day
vile smells did emit
From a surfeit of shit
I think he deserved double pay

Cameron put on his coat
And fucked off after the Brexit vote

arsene york-hunt 2:08 Tue Dec 25
Re: New Limerick Thread
I've just pulled a cracker - Oh Joy!
For inside - a fat lady boy :-) :-) :-)
Also there's a joke,
'Bout a dirty old bloke,
A paper hat and cuddly toy.

There was a young man called Ray
Worked in sewers on boxing day.

Mike Oxsaw 12:13 Tue Dec 25
Re: New Limerick Thread
"This won't hurt a bit now my dear."
Said Santa Claus to a reindeer
I'll make your nose glow
As inside you I go
Now, how's that for good Christmas cheer???

I've just pulled a cracker - Oh Joy!
For inside - a fat lady boy :-) :-) :-)

arsene york-hunt 9:14 Tue Dec 25
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young girl from Arizona
Who'd never seen a man with a boner
Was overcome with joy,
When shown one by a boy
She then licked his huge glans corona.

"This won't hurt a bit now my dear."
Said Santa Claus to a reindeer

Helmut Shown 2:20 Mon Dec 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
Defect*

Helmut Shown 2:19 Mon Dec 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
As Levy pondered his club's bill
For their new stadium he felt rather ill...
On his feet he was unsteady
Said "My life already"
" I think I'll detect to Brazil"

There was a young girl from Arizona
Who'd never seen a man with a boner

Helmut Shown 2:12 Mon Dec 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
In a whorehouse in New Orleans,
There are 30 girls and two queens
And for those on the bend
An arsehole to rend
I hope that he's not eaten beans

There was a young girl from Arizona
Who'd never seen a man with a boner

Eric Hitchmoe 2:11 Mon Dec 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
In a whorehouse in New Orleans,
There are 30 girls and two queens.
Be careful to check
Down from the neck
That your whore does not have a Frank and two beans

As Levy pondered his club's bill
For their new stadium he felt rather ill...

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