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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

arsene york-hunt 2:08 Mon Feb 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
The big teams think that it'd be nice
If West Ham would auction off Rice.
To amuse Olly Murs*,
Or even worse spurs,
Although those cunts can't pay the price.

* Some kind of childrens entertainer who comes from Chelmsford but support Man Utd, ie a cunt.

There was a young scotsman called Rab
Fucked a bird wearing but a Niqab

Helmut Shown 11:45 Mon Feb 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
It's rumoured that Begum bint said
"I'll give you some head for a head".
'neath her hibjab, as feared
Was a fucking big beard
It was Colin and he came from Wanstead

The big teams think that it'd be nice
If West Ham would auction off Rice

Mike Oxsaw 10:01 Sun Feb 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
It's said that Shamima Begum,
To her motherland wishes to come,
And not only that,
Her fucking fat brat!
Quite frankly, I think it's all rum.

It's rumoured that Begum bint said
"I'll give you some head for a head".

arsene york-hunt 1:31 Sun Feb 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
Will the premier league next year be blighted?
By those thieving cunts Sheffield United,
The cap easily fits.
These unsporting shits,
If they implode, I will be delighted.

It's said that Shamima Begum,
To her motherland wishes to come,

Helmut Shown 12:14 Sun Feb 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
I wanted to train as a Ninja,
But found out the Master was ginger
a kilt and big beard
A man to be feared
With trained hands that could certainly injure

Will the premier league next year be blighted?
By those thieving cunts Sheffield United

arsene york-hunt 2:14 Sat Feb 16
Re: New Limerick Thread
I've been to Southend Pier
And could smell everyone that was near,
Surrounded by chavs,
And gypsies, and slavs
The Dame Judy put me off my beer.

I wanted to train as a Ninja,
But found out the Master was ginger

westhammerer 12:36 Sat Feb 16
Re: New Limerick Thread
Last night I ran into my ex-
We went back to her place for sex
She fisted me twice
Which I thought quite nice
Till I realised I'd eaten Tex-Mex.

I've been to Southend Pier
And could smell everyone that was near

Mike Oxsaw 11:27 Fri Feb 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
Twas the morning after Valentines Day
I never thought she would treat me that way
We ate somewhere posh,
So I expected a nosh.
Was then she explained she was gay.

Last night I ran into my ex-
We went back to her place for sex

westhammerer 10:14 Fri Feb 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
Whenever he worked on computers
They'd find he'd be searching out "hooters"
He’d just wanted a jerk
But its not suitable for work
And his search history now reads “recruiters.”

Twas the morning after Valentines Day
I never thought she would treat me that way

Helmut Shown 9:28 Fri Feb 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
A girl from Paramaribo,
Was showing a big camel toe
As hot as Arabia
The friction on her labia
Caused a wet patch when viewed from below

Whenever he worked on computers
They'd find he'd be searching out "hooters"

arsene york-hunt 2:22 Fri Feb 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
It was found that her breast augmentation
Burst while she stood in the station.
The fluid from them,
Ran to her abdomen,
Which caused her much consternation.

A girl from Paramaribo,
Was showing a big camel toe

Helmut Shown 11:49 Wed Feb 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
A young limbo dancer called Jack,
Tried too hard and fell on his back
As his arse hit the ground
The vacuum, they found
Could be broken with a thumb up the crack

It was found that her breast augmentation
Burst while she stood in the station

arsene york-hunt 3:14 Wed Feb 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
It is said that the recently departed
While lying dead they have farted
Between you and me
The mortuary
Is not a place for the fainthearted.

A young limbo dancer called Jack,
Tried too hard and fell on his back

Helmut Shown 12:48 Wed Feb 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
A spaceship descended from Mars
And the occupants went to some bars
After three pints of bitter
Spent the night in the shitter
And back home to write their memoirs

It is said that the recently departed
While lying dead they have farted

Mike Oxsaw 11:12 Tue Feb 12
Re: New Limerick Thread

On the slopes of the mountains of Morne,
A young shepherd lad got the horn
A cowgirl called Grace
Got the double-bass
And they boogied from dusk until dawn.

A spaceship descended from Mars
And the occupants went to some bars

arsene york-hunt 9:30 Tue Feb 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
For Brexit they're stockpiling food
What will the mug voters conclude?
Both leavers and stayers
Know as much as bricklayers,
Under both parties now we are screwed.

On the slopes of the mountains of Morne,
A young shepherd lad got the horn

Helmut Shown 8:33 Tue Feb 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
There once was a man from Japan
Who ate all his food from a can
No gourmet dish
Just a can of old fish
And he smelt like a care home bedpan

For Brexit they're stockpiling food
What will the mug voters conclude?

Mike Oxsaw 7:54 Tue Feb 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
To a brothel in old Tashkent,
A perverted traveller went
Gag-ging for a shag
He fucked an old hag
But considered it money well spent.

There once was a man from Japan
Who ate all his food from a can

arsene york-hunt 2:47 Tue Feb 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
A rent boy now thinks that its fine
To post on Westhamonline,
A fan of the blues?
What next? Four be twos,
Those gefilte fish eating swine.

To a brothel in old Tashkent,
A perverted traveller went

Helmut Shown 11:03 Mon Feb 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
When having a sherman one night.
My mum burst in, switched on the light
She got quite a shock
Seeing my cock
The poor woman fainted on sight

A rent boy now thinks that its fine
To post on Westhamonline

The Grim Rieper 9:59 Sun Feb 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
There once was a limerick thread
Mainly used by those brain dead
The shit that they wrote
Was nothing of note
I tend to post bollocks instead

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