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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

Mike Oxsaw 11:51 Sun Nov 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
A hypnotist put girls into trances
Before making sexual advances
When they closed their eyes,
He'd fondle their thighs,
Or higher, when offered the chances.

You're richer than me - IT'S NOT FAIR!!
So all that you have you MUST share!

Helmut Shown 11:21 Sat Nov 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
Peter Wyngarde in Gloucester bus station,
Once caused a national sensation
A police patrol
Saw his knob through a hole
And a bit more than masturbation

A hypnotist put girls into trances
Before making sexual advances

arsene york-hunt 9:35 Tue Nov 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
i'm supping a very fine ale,
Not porter or stout - it's quite pale,
It's not to bitter,
And when on the shitter,
A good output you just never fail

Peter Wyngarde in Gloucester bus station,
Once caused a national sensation

Mike Oxsaw 6:41 Tue Nov 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
A sad thing in Dagenham East
Is the tale of the perverted Priest
On The Chase he would dog
With a chink and a wog
That should get me a carding, at least...

I'm supping a very fine ale,
Not porter or stout - it's quite pale

arsene york-hunt 4:48 Tue Nov 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
It'll soon be Christmas no doubt,
Nearly time to get my balls out,
Put them on the tree,
But between you and me
I sometimes put it up without.

A sad thing in Dagenham East
Is the tale of the perverted Priest

wanstead_hammer 3:18 Mon Nov 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
The footballer Franz Beckenbauer,
Once had a Sherman in the shower.
He got in there first,
Pulled out his bratwurst,
and stayed in there over half hour.


It'll soon be Christmas no doubt,
Nearly time to get my balls out,

arsene york-hunt 2:05 Mon Nov 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
In Romford? traditional stalls.
Not there will you find shopping malls,
Selling mistletoe,
Big tins of fake snow
And dec'rative christmas tree balls.

The footballer Franz Beckenbauer,
Once had a Sherman in the shower.

Mike Oxsaw 10:48 Sun Nov 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
Nothing can cause a worse rift
Than dropping a fart in a lift
That's not really true.
For, if you follow through,
The occupants will be more miffed.

In Romford? traditional stalls.
Not there will you find shopping malls

Helmut Shown 9:43 Sun Nov 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
I woke up this morning, quite bright.
I felt that I slept well last night
As I opened my eyes
A horrible surprise
A cock pointing at me, face height.

Nothing can cause a worse rift
Than dropping a fart in a lift

Mike Oxsaw 9:12 Sun Nov 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
A knighthood for our Bobby Moore,
Won't be given, you can be sure
And even if ma'am
Doth favour West Ham
He'll have to make do with folklore.

I woke up this morning, quite bright.
I felt that I slept well last night

arsene york-hunt 4:24 Thu Nov 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
So Xmas is almost here
Fuck off I hear you all cheer
It's a time of the year,
For the woman or queer,
But when it comes I shall not be here

A knighthood for our Bobby Moore,
Won't be given, you can be sure

arsene york-hunt 4:12 Thu Nov 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
So Xmas is almost here
Fuck off I hear you all cheer
It's a time of the year,
For the woman or queer,
But when it's done I shall be glad.

A knighthood for our Bobby Moore,
Won't be given, you can be sure

cup of tea 3:07 Thu Nov 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
The fashions I wore as a lad,
Could best be described as "Well bad."
With tongues out your trainers
Fuck all the complainers
It was a 90s fashion or fad

So Xmas is almost here
Fuck off I hear you all cheer

Mike Oxsaw 9:41 Thu Nov 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
Jonathan Ross was outside the bank
And asked for the taxi rank
A gobby snowflake
Did hear, by mistake
A naughty word, rhyming with tank.

The fashions I wore as a lad,
Could best be described as "Well bad."

Helmut Shown 12:58 Thu Nov 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
It's said that little Bo Peep,
Did dirty things with a sheep
Of the flock, had her pick
Chose one with a short dick
'cause it didnt go in too deep

Jonathan Ross was outside the bank
And asked for the taxi rank

arsene york-hunt 2:51 Wed Nov 7
Re: New Limerick Thread
The leaves on the trees turn to brown,
And some of them even fall down.
So winter draws on
And the good weather gone.
Well fuck this, I'm off to Freetown.

It's said that little Bo Peep,
Did dirty things with a sheep

Mike Oxsaw 6:49 Wed Nov 7
Re: New Limerick Thread
A knight went out on his horse
When his steed pitched him into some gorse
He lost both his spurs
So replaced them with burs,
Then rode into battle, of course.

The leaves on the trees turn to brown,
And some of them even fall down.

Helmut Shown 12:09 Wed Nov 7
Re: New Limerick Thread
As big a cunt as I have seen,
Is Stoke City's James McClean
In the first war I've heard tell
Many Irishmen fell
His attitude stinks it would seem

A knight went out on his horse
When his steed pitched him into some gorse

arsene york-hunt 11:30 Tue Nov 6
Re: New Limerick Thread
We can't let the Limericks pass,
Without a few lines on Snodgrass,
Now given a break,
His chance he did take,
As a critic I feel like an arse.

As big a cunt as I have seen,
Is Stoke City's James McClean

Mike Oxsaw 8:10 Tue Nov 6
Re: New Limerick Thread

A young tourist in Vientiane,
Was bum raped by a fat chinaman
The slitty-eyed fag,
Then paid for the shag;
And got clean away in a van.

We can't let the Limericks pass,
Without a few lines on Snodgrass

arsene york-hunt 3:33 Tue Nov 6
Re: New Limerick Thread
A dwarf was out in a crowd
when someone close farted out loud,
He let out a roar
As he fell to the floor,
Knocked out by the foul methane cloud.

A young tourist in Vientiane,
Was bum raped by a fat chinaman

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