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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

arsene york-hunt 2:11 Mon Mar 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
A woman was trying to park,
Broad daylight, like - not even dark
Could not get in the space,
She completely lost face,
When she said: "Fuck this for a lark."

There was a young man from Bangkok,
Was wiping his knob with a sock

Mike Oxsaw 8:31 Sun Mar 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
A prostitute from Chang Mai,
Worked from an old Hyundai.
But what I found silly,
Was the size if her willy...
And what she kept in her Jap's eye.

A woman was trying to park,
Broad daylight, like - not even dark

arsene york-hunt 2:48 Sun Mar 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
A 3-0 win at Cardiff would be nice
With a spectacular hat-trick from Rice,
How the mighty fall,
We came home with fuck all,
When even a point would suffice.

A prostitute from Chang Mai,
Worked from an old Hyundai

WSM Hammer 12:28 Fri Mar 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
In the chippy I saw a strange bod
Who ordered his chips and some cod
He was as mad as a hatter
For not having a sausage in batter
And he actually looked like Ken Dodd


A 3-0 win at Cardiff would be nice
With a spectacular hat-trick from Rice

arsene york-hunt 2:09 Sat Mar 2
Re: New Limerick Thread
I'm trying my hardest, in vain
To get a night's sleep on the plane
So I'll get my kicks
Writing Limericks,
I know that this sounds a bit lame.

In the chippy I saw a strange bod
Who ordered his chips and some cod

Mike Oxsaw 10:56 Fri Mar 1
Re: New Limerick Thread
While sailing up the Limpopo
She desp'rately needed to go
But was sadly unable
To lay down a cable,
In spite of a Turtle head show.

I'm trying my hardest, in vain
To get a night's sleep on the plane

arsene york-hunt 4:04 Fri Mar 1
Re: New Limerick Thread
No action against Kane for a headbutt
The case is open and shut
The England Captain,
Will get off once again,
The degenerate sp*rs playing slut.

While sailing up the Limpopo
She desp'rately needed to go

Helmut Shown 9:25 Thu Feb 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
So Tottenham our out of the race
That puts such a smile on my face
The refs have seen through
The diving they do
Their deluded fans are a disgrace

No action against Kane for a headbutt
The case is open and shut

WSM Hammer 7:52 Thu Feb 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
Next up we have the barcodes,
Illiterate, wife beating toads
For breakfast they drink wine
Especially our number 9
How much does he get paid - fucking loads

So Tottenham our out of the race
That puts such a smile on my face

arsene york-hunt 4:44 Thu Feb 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
What goes round comes round they say,
Payback for handball last Friday
But Friday's was a freak,
Not the norm, so to speak,
Normal service resumed yesterday.

Next up we have the barcodes,
Illiterate, wife beating toads

Helmut Shown 3:53 Thu Feb 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
Stuart Atwell, Lee Mason, Mike Dean,
The quality of refs is obscene
These jumped up squirts
Need a kick where it hurts
Replace them with a machine

What goes round comes round they say,
Payback for handball last Friday

arsene york-hunt 2:56 Thu Feb 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
On facebook one of his likes
Was sniffing the saddles of bikes,
Also playing with shit,
He enjoys quite a bit,
And watching two love making dikes.

Stuart Atwell, Lee Mason, Mike Dean,
The quality of refs is obscene

Helmut Shown 1:52 Thu Feb 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
There once was a farmer called Chris
Who liked drinking his own warm piss
The vitamins within
Were good for the skin
But his breath? No girl would kiss

On facebook one of his likes
Was sniffing the saddles of bikes

cup of tea 11:52 Thu Feb 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
My working life's come to an end,
So, in my retirement I'll spend
On ladyboy Thai hookers
Bent over their cookers
To clap clinic they will then send

There once was a farmer called Chris
Who liked drinking his own warm piss

Mike Oxsaw 11:40 Thu Feb 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
Looking at the chairman David Gold
Thinking I hope I never look that old
But, to end up that rich
Would not be a hitch
At least, that was what I was told.

My working life's come to an end,
So, in my retirement I'll spend

WSM Hammer 10:17 Thu Feb 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
An old immigrant fell in the sea
Trying to shit from his rubber dinghy.
He was praying out loud to Allah
But still ended up like Salah
So that's one more of those cunts we won't see

Looking at the chairman David Gold
Thinking I hope I never look that old

arsene york-hunt 3:50 Thu Feb 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
I'm getting up early in the morning
And will probably spend half the day yawning,
Then I'll think of last night
And tottenham's plight,
And rejoice in the new day that's dawning.

An old immigrant fell in the sea
Trying to shit from his rubber dinghy.

WSM Hammer 12:50 Thu Feb 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
Normal service tonight was resumed
A big team, home ref had us doomed
It was never a pen
we've been cheated again
just as an unexpected point loomed


I'm getting up early in the morning
amd will probably spend half the day yawning

arsene york-hunt 11:56 Wed Feb 27
Re: New Limerick Thread
An Egyptian on the banks of the Nile
As a boat passed did something so vile,
Wiped his arse with a sock,
And waving his cock,
While giving a rotten teeth smile,

Normal service tonight was resumed
A big team, home ref had us doomed

Helmut Shown 9:00 Wed Feb 27
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was an old man from Sutton
Had a stench from his belly button
When his foreskin is back
Or pulls open his crack
There's a smell of festering mutton

An Egyptian on the banks of the Nile
As a boat passed did something so vile

arsene york-hunt 7:04 Wed Feb 27
Re: New Limerick Thread
He wanted to be their saviour
Sarri hates Kepa's behaviour
It happens sometimes,
You get difficult rhymes
So fuck off and lick your dog's labia.

There was an old man from Sutton
Had a stench from his belly button

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