les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
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Same as before
The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Hello Mrs. Jones
5:49 Wed Mar 22
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Its obvious to anyone with nous
That Bojo told fibs to the House
If it comes down to lying
There’s surely no denying
That the winner’s the orange-faced louse
A dirty young minx from Sheerness
Had spunk stains all over her dress
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Helmut Shown
5:06 Wed Mar 22
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Going down on a bird on the blob
Youre likely get blood in your gob
You must have dulled senses
To feast on warm menses
Its enough to deflate your knob
Its obvious to anyone with nous
That Bojo told fibs to the House
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Hello Mrs. Jones
3:19 Wed Mar 22
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A young lady from near Conakry
Sat on her kitchen sink for a pee
I don’t think she oughta
Have Forgotten the hot water
Which gave her burns, third degree
Going down on a bird on the blob
Youre likely get blood in your gob
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arsene york-hunt
1:17 Wed Mar 22
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Thinking himself intellectual
He came out as pansexual,
Blokes trying to be "cool",
Look like cunts as a rule
His efforts thus were ineffectual.
A young lady from near Conakry
Sat on her kitchen sink for a pee
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Helmut Shown
11:45 Tue Mar 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A young eastend lass called Elsie,
Went out with a prat, fan of Chelsea
Alas she'd no doubt
His bum was reamed out
And blotting it was a bit of Delsey*
*a well known toilet tissue. You try and rhyme Chelsea!
Thinking himself intellectual
He came out as pansexual
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Helmut Shown
11:45 Tue Mar 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A young eastend lass called Elsie,
Went out with a prat, fan of Chelsea
Alas she'd no doubt
His bum was reamed out
And blotting it was a bit of Delsey*
*a well known toilet tissue. You try and rhyme Chelsea!
Thinking himself intellectual
He came out as pansexual
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arsene york-hunt
6:08 Tue Mar 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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The sight that most makes me cringe
Is a forest of hair round a minge,
A question aethetic,
I find hairy magnetic,
A matter of taste, let's not whinge.
A young eastend lass called Elsie,
Went out with a prat, fan of Chelsea.
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arsene york-hunt
6:07 Tue Mar 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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The sight that most makes me cringe
Is a forest of hair round a minge,
A question aethetic,
I find hairy magnetic,
A matter of taste, let's not whinge.
An young eastend lass called Elsie,
Went out with a prat, fan of Chelsea.
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arsene york-hunt
6:06 Tue Mar 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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The sight that most makes me cringe
Is a forest of hair round a minge,
A question aethetic,
But I find hairy magnetic,
A matter of taste, let's not whinge.
An young eastend lass called Elsie,
Went out with a prat, fan of Chelsea.
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Hello Mrs. Jones
3:54 Tue Mar 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There was a old man from Gravesend.
Had a blockage in his U Bend
A surfeit of fibre
Filling his Khyber
Was eventually cleared by his boyfriend
The sight that most makes me cringe
Is a forest of hair round a minge
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northbanker
2:46 Tue Mar 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So many gay blokes in Eastenders
They should change the name to Eastbenders
And cause for alarm,
As Bummerdale Farm,
And Corrie are full of transgenders.
There was a old man from Gravesend.
Had a blockage in his U Bend
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arsene york-hunt
2:33 Tue Mar 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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It is said we’re too good to go down
But we will if we keep the Scots clown,
It's far too much strife,
If you beat the wife
So if we drop, my cat I will drown.
So many gay blokes in Eastenders
They should change the name to Eastbenders
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Helmut Shown
12:47 Tue Mar 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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This cough I've got really won't go.
I've had it a week now, you know?
I cannot get rid
It may be Covid
That’ll teach me to go commando
It is said we’re too good to go down
But we will if we keep the Scots clown
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Helmut Shown
12:41 Tue Mar 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Said WS Gilbert in rhyme
That the Punishment should fit the crime.
To deal with these turds
I can’t find the words
So I think I’ll portray it in mime
It is said we’re too good to go down
But we will if we keep the Scots clown
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Mike Oxsaw
10:53 Tue Mar 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Said WS Gilbert in rhyme
That the Punishment should fit the crime.
An eye for an eye
Might just get you by,
But nonces get buried in lime.
This cough I've got really won't go.
I've had it a week now, you know?
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arsene york-hunt
9:00 Mon Mar 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Putting the antisocial in cell blocks
Put them instead in the stocks
I think we're all knowing,
Where this rhyme is going,
The rapists, just cut off their cocks.
Said WS Gilbert in rhyme
That the Punishment should fit the crime.
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Helmut Shown
7:06 Mon Mar 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Is the reason more black blokes do time,
Is that they commit more of the crime?
They claim social deprivation
For their freedom truncation
Their brief using that paradigm
Putting the antisocial in cell blocks
Put them instead in the stocks
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arsene york-hunt
12:07 Mon Mar 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Is the reason more black blokes do time,
Is that they comit more of the crime?
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arsene york-hunt
12:06 Mon Mar 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Serbian twat, Mitrovic
To the ref decided to bitch,
The ref, to ensure,
A win for Manure,
Sent the daft sod off the pitch.
Is the reason more black blokes do time,
Is that the comit more of the crime?
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Helmut Shown
11:46 Mon Mar 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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The shag that they had was pure bliss
But he got a dose of syphilis
Now the poor wanker
Has got a large chanchre
And it’s also painful to piss
Serbian twat, Mitrovic
To the ref decided to bitch
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arsene york-hunt
1:18 Mon Mar 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There once was a girl from Hever
Had a smell emanate from her beaver.
Her new boyfriend Gus
Declined cunnilingus,
So she gotin her Golden reriever,
The shag that they had was pure bliss
But he got a dose of syphilis
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