WHO Poll
Q: Manuel Pellegrini
a. A great signing for the Club and maybe the change of direction we all need
b. It will only be a great signing if the Board back him with decent funds
c. This is West Ham so it will only end in farce
d. I'm not sure about this one, I'll wait until SKY is back to hear what Gary Neville thinks, then I'll voice my opinion

Mad Dog 6:13 Wed Aug 12
THE joke threads (part 5)
Usual rules apply

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
So I asked this Mexican bloke if they have any Jews in Mexico.
He answered "Si Amigo we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!"

jfk 10:26 Tue Jul 10
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Haven't been this nervous about a semi since I watched Brokeback Mountain.

Mirkwood 9:51 Tue Jul 10
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
My missus texted me to say I'm "next to fucking useless." I'm currently consoling the chap beside me. He really hasn't taken it well.

Aalborg Hammer 8:49 Tue Jul 3
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
I was once attacked by a group of mimes...

...they did unspeakable things to me.

Gavros 2:18 Thu Jun 28
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
My wife has threatened to leave me because I keep singing Oasis songs.

She said "Are you going to give it up"

I said maybe....

Pee Wee 8:56 Tue Jun 26
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Richard Harrison, the old boy from the TV show Pawnstars has died.

Doctors told him he should live to at least 90 but he said the best he could do is 77

ted fenton 5:10 Mon Jun 25
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
*EMAIL WARNING* Please be aware of this latest danger. If you receive an email with an attachment that says "NUDE PHOTO OF DIANE ABBOT", do not under any circumstances open the bastard. It actually contains a nude photo of Diane Abbot

Aalborg Hammer 11:21 Mon Jun 25
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
An American wakes up in hospital.

Doctor 》You were involved in a terrible car crash 3 months ago. You suffered major injuries but everything has healed apart from one thing. We had to amputate your penis. But don't worry. There is $12,000 left from your insurance pay out. We can make you a new penis but it will cost $1000 per inch. Anything you don't spend you can keep. Talk it over with your wife and let me know what size you want.

The following day...........

Doctor 》 Have you chatted with your wife?

Patient 》Yes

Doctor 》What are you having?

Patient 》A fitted kitchen with granite worktops

mallard 10:56 Thu Jun 21
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
The kids just told me their school have just replaced all their desks with ones from Ikea... apparently the assembly took ages!

Russ of the BML 6:50 Tue Jun 12
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
A man walks into a Library and goes straight up to the front desk.
"Hello, I'm looking for a new book thats out but I'm afraid I don't know the author and can't remember the title but its about discrimination to midgets and dwarves"
The assistant checks and then tells the man
"Yes, it's over there on the very top shelf."

Mirkwood 6:35 Tue Jun 12
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
I went up to a homeless man sitting on a bench in the town centre today with a cup of coffee for him.
I sat next to him and asked how he'd got in this position.
He said to me "You know, three weeks ago I had it all, my own accomodation, a cook, good food, the internet,TV, I used to go to the gym,to the swimming pool, the library, everything"
I replied, "Blimey, that's a bit rough, what happened, bad luck, divorce,drugs,alcohol problems"?
He said "Na, I got released from prison"

Aalborg Hammer 9:34 Wed Jun 6
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Husband "When I come home,I want you to give me a blowjob" Wife "Couldn't you be more romantic?"
Husband "When I come home,I want you to give me a blowjob next to uua candle"

Aalborg Hammer 4:49 Tue Jun 5
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
When they booked the Garden of Gethsemene restaurant for the Last Supper ,they asked for a table for 26 .
The Waiter said "But there's only 13 of you"

"Yes , but we're only sitting on one side"

Aalborg Hammer 10:42 Mon Jun 4
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Wife says to husband "If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of the second car".
He replies "If you take it up the arse and let me cum on your face, we can get rid of the childminder"

Willtell 3:47 Sun Jun 3
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
The Stoat 3:30
Ag ag ag!

Haz 3:42 Sun Jun 3
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
The Stoat


The Stoat 3:30 Sun Jun 3
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
The Nigerian football team were so disappointed with last nights performance that they have said they will personally refund all the expenses to their fans who travelled to support them.

All they need to do is send their bank details, sort codes and Mothers maiden names and they will transfer the money straight to them

Helmut Shown 12:52 Sat Jun 2
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Stand with your hands on your hips, rotate your hips in a clockwise motion.
Congratulations! You have perfected the impersonation of Mr Whippy having a shit

ted fenton 6:53 Fri Jun 1
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
What's the difference between Rowan Atkinson and Dianne Abbott? Rowan Atkinson was a good black adder.

Willtell 5:30 Fri Jun 1
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Real Madrid are reportedly interested in signing Mauricio Pochettino from Tottenham, as the European champions look to take a break from winning trophies.

Aalborg Hammer 11:29 Fri Jun 1
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Two Tunnocks caramel logs standing in the arrivals lounge at Glasgow airport. One turns to the other and says, how long you been a wafer?

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