WHO Poll
Q: Manuel Pellegrini
a. A great signing for the Club and maybe the change of direction we all need
31%
  
b. It will only be a great signing if the Board back him with decent funds
51%
  
c. This is West Ham so it will only end in farce
16%
  
d. I'm not sure about this one, I'll wait until SKY is back to hear what Gary Neville thinks, then I'll voice my opinion
2%
  



Mad Dog 6:13 Wed Aug 12
THE joke threads (part 5)
Usual rules apply

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

Russ of the BML 6:50 Tue Jun 12
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
A man walks into a Library and goes straight up to the front desk.
"Hello, I'm looking for a new book thats out but I'm afraid I don't know the author and can't remember the title but its about discrimination to midgets and dwarves"
The assistant checks and then tells the man
"Yes, it's over there on the very top shelf."

Mirkwood 6:35 Tue Jun 12
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
I went up to a homeless man sitting on a bench in the town centre today with a cup of coffee for him.
I sat next to him and asked how he'd got in this position.
He said to me "You know, three weeks ago I had it all, my own accomodation, a cook, good food, the internet,TV, I used to go to the gym,to the swimming pool, the library, everything"
I replied, "Blimey, that's a bit rough, what happened, bad luck, divorce,drugs,alcohol problems"?
He said "Na, I got released from prison"

Aalborg Hammer 9:34 Wed Jun 6
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Husband "When I come home,I want you to give me a blowjob" Wife "Couldn't you be more romantic?"
Husband "When I come home,I want you to give me a blowjob next to uua candle"

Aalborg Hammer 4:49 Tue Jun 5
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
When they booked the Garden of Gethsemene restaurant for the Last Supper ,they asked for a table for 26 .
The Waiter said "But there's only 13 of you"

"Yes , but we're only sitting on one side"

Aalborg Hammer 10:42 Mon Jun 4
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Wife says to husband "If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of the second car".
He replies "If you take it up the arse and let me cum on your face, we can get rid of the childminder"

Willtell 3:47 Sun Jun 3
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
The Stoat 3:30
Ag ag ag!

Haz 3:42 Sun Jun 3
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
The Stoat

Ag!

The Stoat 3:30 Sun Jun 3
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
The Nigerian football team were so disappointed with last nights performance that they have said they will personally refund all the expenses to their fans who travelled to support them.

All they need to do is send their bank details, sort codes and Mothers maiden names and they will transfer the money straight to them

Helmut Shown 12:52 Sat Jun 2
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Stand with your hands on your hips, rotate your hips in a clockwise motion.
Congratulations! You have perfected the impersonation of Mr Whippy having a shit

ted fenton 6:53 Fri Jun 1
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
What's the difference between Rowan Atkinson and Dianne Abbott? Rowan Atkinson was a good black adder.

Willtell 5:30 Fri Jun 1
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Real Madrid are reportedly interested in signing Mauricio Pochettino from Tottenham, as the European champions look to take a break from winning trophies.

Aalborg Hammer 11:29 Fri Jun 1
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Two Tunnocks caramel logs standing in the arrivals lounge at Glasgow airport. One turns to the other and says, how long you been a wafer?

Aalborg Hammer 10:56 Wed May 30
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Scientists have discovered that Dolphins are the second most intelligent species after man.
So this means women are pushed down to third place.

claret on my shirt 12:55 Wed May 30
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
When i was getting my prostate exam today, i asked the doctor where i should put my pants....... Over there next to mine was no the answer I was expecting!

Aalborg Hammer 4:33 Tue May 29
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Steven Gerrard was favourite for the Rangers manager job.
A Rangers spokesman said, "We were looking for someone with previous experience at stopping Brendan Rodgers winning the league.

Haz 12:41 Sat May 26
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman there to hear. . . . is he still wrong?

The_Phantom 11:31 Sat May 26
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
A man walks into a Library and goes straight up to the front desk.
"Hello, I'm looking for a new book thats out but I'm afraid I don't know the author and can't remember the title but its about how to have sex with someone with a small penis"
The assistant checks and then tells the man "I'm sorry, I don't think its in yet"
"Thats the one !" replies the man.

Darlo Debs 9:30 Mon May 21
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
"G'Day mate, Aussie help line here..........What's the problem,Cobber?"

"I'm in Darwin with my Sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp, and now her pussy has completely closed up."

"Bummer, mate...!!!"

"Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that. Bye."

Thanks to northernhammer for this one

Hello Mrs. Jones 4:08 Sat May 19
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
John Cooper Clarke

Genius

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-aVtKEhpO0

AKA ERNIE 9:46 Fri May 18
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
why did humpty dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall ?


He wanted to see her crack

Mirkwood 1:44 Mon May 14
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Finally justice has been served.
So there has been this thug called Cal going around breaking into people’s houses in Yorkshire for months, but the police couldn’t catch him. The weirdest thing about it all he was breaking into people’s house’s just to ruin their washing machines by putting bricks into them and turning them on 🤔 very strange if you ask me. Anyway, I’ve just read he’s been found dead in an alleyway due to a drug overdose. It’s never nice hearing of people’s deaths, but look on the bright side...

Washing machines live longer with Cal gone.

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