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Mad Dog 6:13 Wed Aug 12
THE joke threads (part 5)
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lab 8:05 Tue Feb 18
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
A long life supporter of West Ham has said if he wins the euro millions lottery he may try and purchase the club. However his wife has said she has other plans should he get four numbers.

Swiss. 2:56 Tue Feb 18
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
eswing

Yeah I heard he was ill but I thought he's stick it out longer

joyo 10:39 Tue Feb 18
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Did Flack kill herself softly with a song?

eswing hammer 12:03 Tue Feb 18
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
We’ve lost another one , the bloke who invented Velcro has died ...RIP

joyo 6:58 Mon Feb 17
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy!

joyo 6:58 Mon Feb 17
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy!

joyo 4:14 Mon Feb 17
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Who can drink 5 litres of petrol and not get sick?
Jerry Can

lab 9:41 Sun Feb 16
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Christ I can’t believe the service of Amazon.
I ordered a trampoline yesterday afternoon and it was in my back garden this morning.

Willtell 12:50 Fri Feb 14
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Earlier this morning my wife texted me: "Some of the girls in the office have had flowers delivered, they're really beautiful"

I replied: "That'll be why they got flowers then."

icwhs 11:44 Thu Feb 13
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
I gave my wife a massive orgasm last night.



It’s a shame she spat it out.

Aalborg Hammer 12:23 Thu Feb 13
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
So this lizard is walking along the riverbank and he smells the sweet smell of a spliff…he looks up a tree and there’s a baboon smoking a big fat joint.
The baboon invites him up to join him. After a while the lizard gets cotton mouth and says “I’m off to the river for a drink”
A crocodile swims up and asks the lizard what he’s doing.
The lizard explains about the baboon and the excellent Lebanese black that he’d just smoked.
“A baboon with a spliff? This I have to see!!”
The crocodile gets to the bottom of the tree and the baboon looks down at him.
“Mannnnnnnnn!! How much water did you drink!!??”

Aalborg Hammer 12:23 Thu Feb 13
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
So this lizard is walking along the riverbank and he smells the sweet smell of a spliff…he looks up a tree and there’s a baboon smoking a big fat joint.
The baboon invites him up to join him. After a while the lizard gets cotton mouth and says “I’m off to the river for a drink”
A crocodile swims up and asks the lizard what he’s doing.
The lizard explains about the baboon and the excellent Lebanese black that he’d just smoked.
“A baboon with a spliff? This I have to see!!”
The crocodile gets to the bottom of the tree and the baboon looks down at him.
“Mannnnnnnnn!! How much water did you drink!!??”

eswing hammer 8:02 Sun Feb 9
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
My windscreen was all iced up this morning and l couldn’t find the icescraper so l used my B&Q trade credit card ,it was hard work but l managed to get 20% off .

penners28 4:08 Sun Feb 9
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Apparently Schofield was about to be outed as a west ham fan, so thought it would be less embarrassing to just say he was gay....

Dandy Lyon 9:51 Sat Feb 8
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Phillip Schofield is leaving ITV. He prefers BBC

Mirkwood 9:33 Sat Feb 8
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings'. Apparently Gollum was once a normal man. But wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in his life. Must be the same ring I put on when I got married.

lab 2:57 Sat Feb 8
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Holly Willoughby :whenever I bent down to pick up a pen,he never ever said ...while yer down there luv, ..it all makes sense now.

Mirkwood 1:47 Sat Feb 8
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Waiting for the first decent Phillip Schofield joke to land...

Nutsin 8:40 Fri Feb 7
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Englishman, Italian and a Frenchman having a beer together in a bar.

The Italian says "you know, after I finish making love to my wife I massage her back and she floats 2 inches off the bed in ecstasy."

The Frenchman says "this is nothing masseur, After I make love to my wife I massage her feet and she floats 2 feet off the bed in ecstasy.

The Englishman pipes up, "That's nothing, after I'm done shagging my old lady I wipe my knob on her drapes and she hits the roof!"

Exiled In Surrey 8:45 Thu Feb 6
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Went to see the doctor and told him I was suffering from premature ejaculation.

He asked " how does your wife feel about it?"

I replied "at first she took it on the chin, but now its getting on het tits"

claret on my shirt 9:16 Mon Feb 3
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
saw this on OLAS

Police are looking for three West Ham supporters who homophobically abused Brighton supporters on Saturday.

A police spokesman said when caught they will be banned from watching West Ham for life so far 4900 supporters have said it was them!

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