Mad Dog 6:13 Wed Aug 12
THE joke threads (part 5)
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Usual rules apply
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
riosleftsock
10:40 Fri May 26
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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I'm just off to fix Cat Stevens' caravan.
Awning has broken.
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Aalborg Hammer
3:55 Tue May 16
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When I first started my support group for perverted ice cream men, they came in their hundreds and thousands
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Aalborg Hammer
6:58 Fri May 12
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Q. Why don't you get a pregnant Barbie ?
A.'Cos Ken came in a different box
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Aalborg Hammer
9:39 Wed May 10
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A priest goes into a pub to avoid the rain and spies a member of his congregation in there staring miserably into a pint.
"What's wrong, Brian?" asks the kindly man of God.
"It's my grandfather" replies Brian "he's just died".
"Well, did you not try to take him to Lourdes and get him cured?"
"We had a whip-round in the pub and I went with him, but we had only been there an hour when he died" answered Brian.
"Well" comforts the Priest "sometimes the Lord moves in mysterious ways".
"I think it was more likely to be the speed of the 'king cricket ball that hit him in the head".
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Haz
9:23 Thu Apr 27
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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BillyBondsBirthday 6:38 Fri Apr 21
Ag ag!
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Aalborg Hammer
7:23 Thu Apr 27
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“I won’t back down” - Tom Petty
“I may readjust my stance if you have a reasonable argument” - Tom Reasonable
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Nurse Ratched
5:16 Tue Apr 25
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BBB
Arf!
Where Didi Gogo? 😉
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arsene york-hunt
1:37 Tue Apr 25
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joyo 2:42 Sun Apr 16
That joke should be updated to Cristian Stellini
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Helmut Shown
12:18 Tue Apr 25
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Did you know if you enter Moyes, Sullivan and Cresswell in What 3 Words you end up shit creek?
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BillyBondsBirthday
6:38 Fri Apr 21
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I was pleased when the Gent sub Godeau came on in the 84th minute last night.
I had been waiting for him.
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Stevethehammer
3:10 Sun Apr 16
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David Moyes having 2 goalkeepers on the bench
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joyo
2:42 Sun Apr 16
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Fat Frank must be the worst caretaker since Ian Huntley
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Westside
7:46 Fri Apr 14
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A Professor was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students. This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you're having an orgasm?' She replied, 'Probably golfing with his mates.’
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riosleftsock
8:42 Thu Apr 13
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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Just had some great financial news, couldn't have come at a better time, with the cost of living crisis and the price of everything going up.
The kid I sponsor in Africa has been eaten by a lion.
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Aalborg Hammer
2:21 Thu Apr 13
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What's the similarity between George Michael and a pair of wellington boots- they both got sucked off in bogs
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The Stoat
9:36 Thu Apr 13
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Police have confirmed that the man who fell 18 storeys from a rooftop night club was not a bouncer.
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Mirkwood
11:27 Wed Apr 12
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Yeah Ted kept it going
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MaryMillingtonsGhost
9:01 Wed Apr 12
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An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
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Son of Sam
10:43 Thu Apr 6
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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Hermit Road 11:56 Wed Apr 5
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lincslink
10:42 Thu Apr 6
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Here here
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Hermit Road
11:56 Wed Apr 5
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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This should be renamed the Ted Fenton Memorial Joke thread
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