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Q: 2019/20 With seven games to go will West Ham stay up
a. Our demise was sealed when the idiots on the Board appointed Moyes, we're down
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c. I'm beyond caring & couldn't give two hoots either way

Gary Darkness 11:24 Sun Dec 20
Andy Townsend's tactics truck
Please share your memories here...

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

BIL-I-AM 1:17 Mon Dec 21
Re: Andy Townsend's tactics truck
Not for me Clive

1985 5:14 Sun Dec 20
Re: Andy Townsend's tactics truck
The Tactics Truck was an ill-fated segment on piss poor ITV show The Premiership. It was hated by everyone and led many people to regard perpetrator Andy Townsend as one of history’s greatest monsters.

During a bleak period between 2001 and 2004, ITV managed to get their greasy, error-prone mitts on the Premier League highlights.

As well as putting the show on at stupid times, employing second-rate pundits, throwing in countless advert breaks and using U2's 'Beautiful Day' as its theme tune, ITV decided they wanted to add a segment dedicated to the tactical side of the game.

They did this by creating the Tactics Truck. The Truck would be parked outside grounds and unpopular numbskull Andy Townsend would replay goals, ringing things and stating the fucking obvious.

Townsend would bring players into the Truck and explain to them why they conceded three goals against Bolton, often managing to say ‘I tell you what’ in excess of 100 times in four minutes. It was dismal, embarrassing, superfluous fare.

One of the few highlights of the Tactics Truck’s reign of ignominy was the visit of Dion Dublin, who was at the time plying his trade for Aston Villa and had netted against Liverpool.

After some typically uninspired comments including ‘It was a good goal, I’m pleased for you,’ to which Dublin responded ‘Cheers mate’, Townsend asked Dublin what he thought Villa’s chances were in the UEFA Cup and it emerged that the journeyman striker had no idea who his side were playing in midweek.

During a famous visit to the Tactics Truck, the segment was interrupted as the vehicle began to slowly move. Townsend had illegally parked outside Stamford Bridge and was towed away, swearing in protest out the window.
Hatred of the Tactics TruckEdit

The Tactics Truck came to be so reviled by football fans across the country that it had to be given 24-hour police protection.

Townsend, who drove, reported from and lived in the truck, has never shaken the stigma. indeed.


Son of Anarchy 5:12 Sun Dec 20
Re: Andy Townsend's tactics truck
I seem to remember eugo eggiog or however you spell it looking very bemused on andys tactics bus when townsend started telling him how to defned.

sidneyshitcunt 5:09 Sun Dec 20
Re: Andy Townsend's tactics truck
One of my mates Tom spoke with Townsend about his football ability, in front of me. Tom said to him towards the end of his career if he thought he should still be in the Ireland team, he said "of course".

Conversation went on to the England national team, Tom said "you'd be the first to admit you wouldn't get into the England team though, Andy"?

Townsend looked really disappointed, said "I don't know (about that), I think I could do a job. I wouldn't let you down". He was about 35.

Delusional cunt.

The_Phantom 5:05 Sun Dec 20
Re: Andy Townsend's tactics truck
he'll be disappointed with that Clive, missing the goals'

sidneyshitcunt 4:50 Sun Dec 20
Re: Andy Townsend's tactics truck

Eerie Descent 12:48 Sun Dec 20
Re: Andy Townsend's tactics truck
Never seen in the same room as Shane Ritchie.

chad sexington 12:46 Sun Dec 20
Re: Andy Townsend's tactics truck
Andy's Gay Bus

bell 12:13 Sun Dec 20
Re: Andy Townsend's tactics truck
Shit gimmick by a shit presenter on a shit station.

Marston Hammer 11:29 Sun Dec 20
Re: Andy Townsend's tactics truck
'In the end rosicky initially did well'

monto 11:28 Sun Dec 20
Re: Andy Townsend's tactics truck
Last seen entering a scrapyard in Rainham

danny dyer 11:25 Sun Dec 20
Re: Andy Townsend's tactics truck
Fake Irish pwopa nawty twucker.

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