WHO Poll
Q: 2017/18 Watford (a)
a. Moyes first game & like the postman he'll deliver, win.
38%
  
b. A tough first game for Moyes it'll be a test alright & I expect a point, draw.
19%
  
c. Different day and it'll be the same shit, lose.
25%
  
d. We should be pleaed the football's back but after the last humiliation and the Board's ineptitude, my passion for WHU has been sucked out of me
16%
  
e. I can't wait me, I'm our biggest fan and once again will be down the Rub a Dub kitted out and belting out David Moysie's Blue & Claret Army, I know all the songs me
3%
  



les marteaux 10:33 Wed Aug 17
Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
For me it was a shower in a campsite. took me ages to push the thing through the drainage hole with my foot.

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

chad sexington 5:48 Sun Aug 21
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
The queen Elizabeth II stadium

jools268 4:04 Sun Aug 21
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
Plant pot in a petrol station at Turin airport.

Florin 3:04 Sun Aug 21
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
Debenhams Ladies Clothing dept, whilst at college me and my mates would bet as to who could dump in the most random place

gph 2:47 Sun Aug 21
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
North Korea, but they wouldn't have me.

Oh, defecAted...

Sydney_Iron 4:24 Sun Aug 21
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
Not me, but remember years ago being on the tube one evening with the old Sony walkman on not paying much attention to what was going on, suddenly there was a real nasty stench, some old Irish bloke had shit on the carriage floor and was pissing himself laughing.

The next stop the carriage emptied, those getting on were WTF, before doing a quick smart U turn to another carriage.

Dirty old cunt.

joe blob 1:24 Sun Aug 21
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
Friend of mine had a burglar shit on his bed.

joyo 2:17 Sat Aug 20
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
Away game sometime ago in the hotel l had a shower then shit in it after knowing my mate with weak stomach was waiting to use it next......well worth it watching him come flying out of bathroom!

El Scorchio 12:40 Sat Aug 20
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
That sounds completely made up. What sort of passenger plane wouldn't have a toilet on it?

South West Hammer 12:10 Sat Aug 20
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
This is an absolute classic, may have been posted on a 'shit' thread before but worth another read...

http://jalopnik.com/this-is-the-most-embarrassing-plane-pooping-story-ever-1456846301

Just over halfway through the flight, all the coffee in my stomach feels like it's percolating its way down into my lower intestine. I hunker down and try and focus on other things. What feels like an hour, but probably isn't more than twenty minutes, passes. We then enter what turns out to be pretty violent turbulence. With each bounce, I have to fight my body, trying not to shit my pants. "Thirty minutes to landing, maybe forty five" I try and tell myself, each jostle a gamble I can't afford to lose. I signal to [the flight attendant] and she heads toward me.

"Excuse me, where is the bathroom, because I don't see a door?" I ask while still devoting considerable energy to fighting off what starts to feel like someone shook a seltzer bottle and shoved it up my ass. She looks at me, bemused, and says, "Well, we don't really have one per se." She continues, "Technically, we have one, but it's really just for emergencies. Don't worry, we're landing shortly anyway."

"I'm pretty sure this qualifies as an emergency," I manage to mutter through my grimace. I can see the fear in her face as she points nervously to the back seat. The turbulence outside is matched only by the cyclone that is ravaging my bowels. She points to the back of the plane and says, "There. The toilet is there." For a brief instant, relief passes over my face. She continues, "If you pull away the leather cushion from that seat, it's under there. There's a small privacy screen that pulls up around it, but that's it." At this point, I was committed. She had just lit the dynamite and the mine shaft was set to blow.

I turn to look where she is pointing and I get the urge to cry. I do cry, but my face is so tightly clenched it makes no difference. The "toilet" seat is occupied by the CFO, i.e. our fucking client. Our fucking female fucking client!

Up to this point, nobody has observed my struggle or my exchange with the flight attendant. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." That's all I can say as I limp toward her like Quasimodo impersonating a penguin, and begin my explanation. Of course, as soon as my competitors see me talking to the CFO, they all perk up to find out what the hell I'm doing.

Given my jovial nature and fun-loving attitude thus far on the roadshow, almost everybody thinks I'm joking. She, however, knows right away that I am anything but and jumps up, moving quickly to where I had been sitting. I now had to remove the seat top – no easy task when you can barely stand upright, are getting tossed around like a hoodrat at a block party, and are fighting against a gastrointestinal Mt. Vesuvius.

I manage to peel back the leather seat top to find a rather luxurious looking commode, with a nice cherry or walnut frame. It had obviously never been used, ever. Why this moment of clarity came to me, I do not know. Perhaps it was the realization that I was going to take this toilet's virginity with a fury and savagery that was an abomination to its delicate craftsmanship and quality. I imagined some poor Italian carpenter weeping over the violently soiled remains of his once beautiful creation. The lament lasted only a second as I was quickly back to concentrating on the tiny muscle that stood between me and molten hot lava.

I reach down and pull up the privacy screens, with only seconds to spare before I erupt. It's an alka-seltzer bomb, nothing but air and liquid spraying out in all directions – a Jackson Pollock masterpiece. The pressure is now reversed. I feel like I'm going to have a stroke, I push so hard to end the relief, the tormented sublime relief.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." My apologies do nothing to drown out the heinous noises that seem to carry on and reverberate throughout the small cabin indefinitely. If that's not bad enough, I have one more major problem. The privacy screen stops right around shoulder level. I am sitting there, a disembodied head, in the back of the plane, on a bucking bronco for a toilet, all while looking my colleagues, competitors, and clients directly in the eyes. "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!" briefly comes to mind.

I literally could reach out with my left hand and rest it on the shoulder of the person adjacent to me. It was virtually impossible for him, or any of the others, and by others I mean high profile business partners and clients, to avert their eyes. They squirm and try not to look, inclined to do their best to carry on and pretend as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening, that they weren't sharing a stall with some guy crapping his intestines out. Releasing smelly, sweaty, shame at 100 feet per second.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry" is all the ashamed disembodied head can say…over and over again. Not that it mattered.
My big take away from all this? The person who designed a privacy screen on a tiny airplane toilet that leaves your whole head exposed should be shot. With poop bullets. Because that's such a profoundly terrible, terrible idea.

Seriously, who's idea was that? Did they contract it out to an alien who'd only read a pamphlet about human evacuation customs? And even then, just skimmed it?

BubblesCyprus 9:05 Sat Aug 20
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
Before retiring used to do 70-80 flights a year but never once had a shit on an aeroplane.Any WHO medical person who can explain this?

park chan wook 4:30 Sat Aug 20
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
I once did a Shit behind behind someone's sofa chair. Didn't hang about too see their reaction.

park chan wook 4:01 Sat Aug 20
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
I'm with the missus in her country, were driving in to manila and I see a bloke squatting clearly not shy or batting any eyelids. He dumps on the sidewalk whilst 4 lanes of traffic go bye. Not one shout of " you dirty cunt" was said.

SilverSurfer 3:13 Sat Aug 20
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
Library, can't remember which aisle, somewhere in 'Natural History'.

Alfie 2:36 Sat Aug 20
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
La was it angel delight? Did you put sprinkles on it? Whisk it to a light consistency? Need more detail sir

LAHammered 2:30 Sat Aug 20
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
In Texas Irons kitchen. Shit into a bowl of chocolate mousse then mixed it all together and put it back in the fridge.
We then set up go pro cameras and if anybody wants to buy photos of the cunt eating shit or videos where he is eating shit and talking shit at the same time please let me know.

Alfie 1:02 Sat Aug 20
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
I was once employed as a plasterer and tiny tree and landscape erector at Elstree studios, on set 4 where the popular 1980s childrens television show Thomas the tank engine was filmed.

For the record I am talking of course of the original live action model version, not the modern animated version in which all the computer generated train faces look slightly sinister and confused or like they are having a difficult come down.

My main duties were to erect tiny trees for the background shots, or to fashion little realistic clouds from gobbets of dampened cotton wool and bostik.

Anyway this one particular day me and the narrator Ringo Mccartney and his then muse Julia Ono had been right out on the lash the night before: id eaten a huge moussaka and downed a good few bottles of light & bitter and babycham - as well as smoking the ganja puff joints with the young hippy crew.

On set the next day during a lunch break and interlude in the hectic filming schedule i was suddely bought low by a sudden desire to heft out a burly shit: my guts were lolloping about like tits in an aerobics class.

No one else was about and ive had to put it out, there and then, no fun but it had to be done.

It was a non negotiable imminent ejection of fecal matter. Looking frantically around under the hot studio lights the only receptacle i could find was the miniature stovepipe hat of the fat controller.

Swiping it off his balding ginger nut, ive upended it and chugged out a coil of wet but compact detritus into it, rapidly overflowing its little confines like a an overfilled cornetto cone brimming and muffin topped with a shit topping.

I smoothed the excess pooh pooh into the surrounding earthy area of a little model farmers field near the coal shed, got me bum clean on some lichen hedges and pulled up my britches. The whole act of defecating in the small model scenery had taken mere seconds. I was spent but lighter.

Replacing the controllers hat, the crew and ringo re entered, none the wiser - the cameras rolled - and to this day only i know that some of the background scenery in the episode 'Thomas has a disagreement with the RMT union rep' in series 5 was filmed in scenery in part consisting of my fresh lain humming shit.

Alfie 11:28 Fri Aug 19
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
- into an R Whites bottle under Southend pier

- in an unplumbed exhibition house bathroom toilet at the ideal home exhibition - early 90's

- into the wicker bottom of an air balloon during an expedition to map the previously uncharted boundaries of Canvey Island in 1983: the stool was jettisoned over the side and landed amidst an old age pensioners picnic near the beach huts of West Mersea island, like an unpleasant sudden shower of shit muck from the heavens

Troy McClure 7:01 Fri Aug 19
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
As any seasoned jogger will tell you, you can sometimes get caught short. I found this out to my cost a few years back on the trading estate. At least it helped me achieve my goal if losing a few pounds at the time.

On the subject ... Think I had a rather dodgy Ruby last night. Was in the work bogs this morning and with only the slightest of pressure, managed to redecorate most of cubicle four.

Got an arsehole like a snipers elbow

Thanks for reading.

Johnson 6:30 Fri Aug 19
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
The Duke of Edinburgh, Upton Park.

One McAvennieeeeee 6:21 Fri Aug 19
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
Corridor of a travel lodge in Newcastle about 4 years ago. Couldn't make it back.

Awful.

w4hammer 6:17 Fri Aug 19
Re: Where is the most unlikely place you have defecated?
Through the sunroof of a renault 19.

Back in the day we were in bournemouth and we were with a bunch of lads from all over at some soul music bash - a little ginger cunt from reading went from cock blocking to stealing this bird i was kind of with and then cleared off as he knew I was onto him - i assumed id find him back later where I knew he'd parked the car. However when I got there he wasnt around tho his sunroof was open....after a day and night of beer , whizz and a decent kebab, well you gotta go, dont you ;-)

Page 1 - Next




Copyright 2006 WHO.NET | Powered by: