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Tomshardware 1:16 Tue Feb 21
Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Got back last night from a week away, agreed to have viewings of property while I wasn't there. Came home last night to find skid marks on the toilet bowl and pan. About to phone the lettings agent to see who the culprit is.

Suppose it could be a viewer who did it but surely no-one would have a shit while the estate agent is waiting outside the door?

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

Alfie 1:18 Sun Feb 26
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Quiche has something of the quality of vagina about it i would assert.

Its unctious fruity innards with uneven and suspect base - surrounded by a thin barrier of ring fenced pastry lips like quimmy alcoves.

An occasional unexpected tongue clinging hair. A central nub of tomato. Larger than expected and too much to consume in one sitting. Suffused with ham, rhubarb, goodly meats. Cavernous yet curiously enveloping like a mollusc. Prompting spittle.

Much like a minge.

Cloacked in mystery and tinfoil, shaven like fresh pilchards freshly landed in a fishermans boat off the bay of biscay on the third afternoon of dreary february.

Moncurs Putting Iron 1:07 Sun Feb 26
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Saw a recipe for a pastry less Quiche today.

Is that not a Frittata?

Alfie 12:57 Sun Feb 26
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Flaccid.

Quiche

Moncurs Putting Iron 12:46 Sun Feb 26
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Facile

Alfie 12:30 Sun Feb 26
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Look at it this way Thomas: he only did manure in your toilette.

At least he didnt wank off in your airing cupboard, or fondle his own breasts whilst wearing ladies up the bum knickers in your shed.

I knew someone who suffered an electrician genitally mutilating himself in their utility room. When they found him he had turned his penis and scrotum into something resembling badly squashed spagetthi hoops exploded in a microwave.

You got off lightly really in the realms of shocking things visiting tradespeople can do in your house.

Hammer and Pickle 11:51 Sat Feb 25
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
It's the time of year I think of that hibernating hamster I buried in the back garden Alfie.

You're not helping me with this at all.

Alfie 11:33 Sat Feb 25
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Thomas: great injustice has been done you here. It upsets me, the spectacular freedoms taken of your water closet blanche at the title liberty, so injurious are they, yet liberties they be. Carsy liberties.

Just direct me and i will ensure vengeance of this grievous ill is gotten.

As you well know sir, i can have a dragoon of the shire set upon this vainglorious dwelling broker before morning quenches night.

I can urge a phalanx of scarecrows and village idiots to bring down such ailment and ill upon this nauseous broker of hovels, he will rue the day he lay soil upon your privy.

Just indicate you would have it so, and i will set most of the scarrier crowmen of the eastern areas loose from their hedged rows

Tomshardware 11:22 Sat Feb 25
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
The way some have responded on here you'd probably have wiped his arse for him if he'd done the same in your house.

Ronald_antly 5:08 Sat Feb 25
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
"Suppose it could be a viewer who did it but surely no-one would have a shit while the estate agent is waiting outside the door? "


So, you're not only accusing a prospective tenant of shitting in a toilet, but also the agent of being some sort of sicko that gets off on eavesdropping on people taking a dump.

Roger Mellie 10:38 Fri Feb 24
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
The longer the skid marks are, the better the poo is.

NDT 1:47 Fri Feb 24
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Chuck away all your Cups and Mugs, just in case.

Billy Blagg 1:46 Fri Feb 24
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
So leaving marks in the toilet bowl is now an OCD issue according to Good and Great of WHO. This place has gone to the dogs.

Son of Anarchy 8:29 Thu Feb 23
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Mo Mo...

Unflushed was the touch of class it needed and you delivered it.

ooooh Morley Morley 2:53 Thu Feb 23
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
I'd have left a massive log (unflushed) and then wiped my arse on your shower curtain...

Robson 2:40 Thu Feb 23
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Each to their own Toms.

Good luck selling your house!

lowermarshhammer 2:32 Thu Feb 23
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Fair enough point that the phantom crapper was in the wrong for leaving evidence but perhaps they were just hoping to knock a bit of the asking price.

lowermarshhammer 2:29 Thu Feb 23
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
The original poster must have some severe OCD issues to get so worked up about someone having a crap.

If he hasn't got OCD issues and it just being a bit of a silly cunt for the sake of it then I really hope one day he shits himself when he's really desperate for a crap and can't locate a bog.

Tomshardware 2:13 Thu Feb 23
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
What sort of warped logic is that Robson. I can only think that some of you must let people walk all over you.

Robson 1:16 Thu Feb 23
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Tomshardware 10:05 Wed Feb 22
No I just don't tolerate people doing something like that and thinking it's ok.


You are relying on this estate agent to make you a fortune on your house. You should be treating him like your best friend but you are treating him like a piece of what he's left down your toilet. That's not ok.

Your best friend is a guest in your house but you are expecting your guest to clean your toilet. That's not ok either.

Russ of the BML 10:08 Thu Feb 23
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Trevor B 5:56 Thu Feb 23

Trevor B 5:56 Thu Feb 23
Re: Estate agent had a shit in my toilet while I was away
Two days worth of posts on here all over someone using a toilet for the purpose which is was designed for. God knows what this prick would be like if he actually had a real issue in life.

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