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Leonard Hatred 4:36 Wed Jan 17
Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
An interesting thing just happened.

I'm sitting at an outdoor cafe, having a beer. My phone's on the table.

A young bloke (18 ish) walks past, grabs my phone off the table and runs off with it.

Now, I'm 47, 18 stone, and have never been much of an athlete, but it's interesting what happens when adrenaline/panic kicks in (my phone case also contains my bank card, without which I'm FUCKED), and I jump up like USAIN BOLT and within 20 metres I've got close enough to rugby tackle this bloke. He drops my phone out of his hand, and as I get up, for some reason I keep him pinned to the ground with my boot on his chest. I pick my phone up, look round to see if any.old bill are about (there aren't), then give him a full force size 10 steel toe cap Doc Marten boot in his face, producing an immediate and satisfyingly splash of blood.

He gets up and sprints off.

Then there's a slightly eggy moment of me looking back at the other cafe customers, but they just sit there looking blankly at me.

I stroll off about 3 blocks to a bar, where I am writing this.

Quite buzzing off that...it could've gone very badly wrong though, in several ways.

Been a long time since I've been involved in any of that sort of caper.

FMOB.

I enjoyed that, though. Made me feel ALIVE.

And I know some cunt is gonna say "blatantly never happened", but FUCK OFF. IT DID.

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

Westham67 2:30 Sat Jan 20
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
Ronald_antly 4:24 Sat Jan 20

Sorry to hear that mate hope your Mum is ok

HammerFan43 2:18 Sat Jan 20
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
Good on you. Well done.

joe royal 9:02 Sat Jan 20
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
H&P

Sounds like he's blaming the....... you knows.

Not sure how many you get in leafy Surrey tho.

Hammer and Pickle 7:41 Sat Jan 20
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
That makes no sense at all, Johnson - especially on this thread.

Fancy explaining what you’re on about?

Johnson 6:06 Sat Jan 20
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
Happens too often in the UK these days, sign of the times.

We all know what the times are. Any leftie or remainer is complicit in this.

normannomates 5:59 Sat Jan 20
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
Ronald

Hope your old girl ain't to shaken up..I wish her well..some bods are shameless..that kind of behaviour has no fuckin excuse.

Regards

Ronald_antly 4:24 Sat Jan 20
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
I would liked to have done something similar to the piece of filth that nicked my Mum's purse from her shopping trolley in Epsom's Sainsburys.
Someone preying on an 80 year old lady like that deserves some SERIOUS consequences.

Sadly, I was not with her.

normannomates 3:10 Sat Jan 20
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
Fair play to you Leonard.

Adrenaline is a drug...it's addictive

You acted on instinct...


It's afterwards when the coward within you mulls things over..Mr sensible...what if I got clumped?...younger?..bigger?


Instinct and not giving a fuck over Mr sensible?

you know the coo

jim@chickenrun 9:55 Fri Jan 19
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
While your there remind them about the belgrano and colonel h Jones .....and their navy that never left port.

mallard 8:46 Fri Jan 19
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
...beacuse the whole pub can hear the 'rip'when he opens it

joe royal 12:15 Fri Jan 19
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
Hatred never (NEVER) gets his wallet out .

mallard 11:28 Thu Jan 18
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires


flyingV 1:17 Wed Jan 17

Nice work Len, although its worth pointing out he nicked your phone, but the velcro wallet didn't even get a second glance.




Ha! Ha! That was quality!

DaveT 11:12 Thu Jan 18
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
You are taking an unhealthy interest in me. Worried I may come over to Poland and go where the Karate teacher goes each Tuesday.

Ronald_antly 11:10 Thu Jan 18
Re: Leonard Hatred in BUENOS AIRES
Leonard Hatred aka Batman

Hammer and Pickle 11:04 Thu Jan 18
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
How the Spanish lessons going Dave?

DaveT 11:02 Thu Jan 18
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
Keep up you thick cunt. I've been back nearly three months as I explained to you. But on your drunken haze you haven't a clue. And what's with the fat flid comment. You really are a nasty cunt H&P and have the cheek to squeal when someone calls you a name or two.

BRANDED 10:51 Thu Jan 18
Re: Leonard Hatred in BUENOS AIRES
I was in a pub in Soho and acouple of German birds left all their shit on the table and went out for a fag. I watched the phones and shit and when they returned tbe bar staff gave them an earfull. I politely asked why they did it and they said in Bavaria it would be normal.
Do you know what I mean ?

BRANDED 10:47 Thu Jan 18
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
Cool story Bro.

Hammer and Pickle 10:43 Thu Jan 18
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
This thread is QUALITY.

DaveT said he was off on a Latin American tour. It was obviously him. Explains how Lenny caught up with him in his steel toe-cap DMs with that head start, the fat flid.

Side of Ham 6:31 Thu Jan 18
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
FMOSTCB

collyrob 6:26 Thu Jan 18
Re: Leonard Hatred in Buenos Aires
Blatantly didn't happen.

Steel toe docs on the copa looking like a fucking peado.

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