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Tomshardware 7:48 Mon Jan 13
Anxiety/depression
Been through bad time lately with suffering with this. Dark thoughts as well. I know some posters on here suffer with this. Anyone come through the other side of this shit?

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Peckham 8:02 Wed Feb 19
Re: Anxiety/depression
Re: Anxiety/depression
Manuel wrote...
I'm sorry, but topping yourself because you spend less time with your kids makes no sense whatsoever. So now he will never see them at all, miss seeing them grow up, and has left 2 kids without a father in this world. Must have been more to it than that.

Manuel, no need to apologise, there is as much stigma with suicide as there is ignorance, and I am not suggesting you are in anyway.

The breakdown of his Marriage , whilst serving abroad for many years and seeing hardcore shit mentally effected him. The split up from his Mrs was a trigger. there is always a trigger.

However , try saying what you said to Robin Williams 3 children, and his million odd fans he made smile for many years, or Gary Speeds kids, to be honest, siblings and Parents can take it a lot harder on themselves when they lose a loved one , they understand death and the desperate act of suicide , they question themselves.I did for many years - "What could I have done ?" "What if I bought my old man Rays book?" If only I had visited more? If only I knew he was in debt and too proud to tell his Children.
Whereas kids effected can be too young to fully understand, they are growing up fatherless, but in today's world that is more common than not, not having a Dad about.

So in answer to your opinion there must have been more to it , you are right - he was diagnosed PTSD , lets be clear it is no difference etc acute bouts of depression and for him serious bouts of having the hump with civvys. Getting stressed easily.

As Alf has said some people have the mindset they are doing their family a favour by topping themselves.

I openly think this right here right now, and I am not drunk or stoned or anything. I believe when I am depressed to the state I cant answer calls or get busy and procrastinate, have suicidal thoughts , I think my mates are better off without me, I am a fucking burden at times. Cunt of a son.

Without doubt mate. 9mm , over come it. Noose in a hotel. Bottled it. Finally Gidea Park Station, the closest I have been to giving up as I have mentioned too much in past posts.

The trigger now, well it was September up until when it got to its worst and my local GP sent me Christmas Eve to Chelsea and Westminster A&E regarding my mental state. The Trigger was returned to the UK to support old dear, yet I cant face the fact she is not recovering from 3 strokes, has early stages of dementia and breaks down crying when she can not remember things. It fucking kills me , watching her die , like I did my Nan, to go with that this country has been in a complete fuck up since back, DWP declared me a person not from Great Britain for being out of the country 3 years, despite having a War pension and always paying into UK system, said I did not have enough savings to stay............a farce.
Finally was awarded UC of €40 a month...Another Trigger. Is that what my life is worth €40 notes a month for a person born in Great Britain , served in the British Army , worked abroad in similar sector then within Europe as a civilian still within Military sector, return to the UK , retraining for new skills to gain work, yet need help and to sign on , Veterans TILS NHS and Legion all saying to mentally unwell to work due to 10 years of controlled medicines and need to review and come off them, so work would be difficult to maintain with many hospital appointments.

But yep even money can trigger someone to suicide.

Its sad, tragic, impossible to explain unless been to that morgue or had it happen to a family member or friend. Those leaving their Children of any age. Or those leaving Siblings and Parents. Hurts everybody.

Depression can not be underestimated as a cunt thing to suffer from *** even those who have travelled the World, seen first hand how 3rd World Country people live, they are grateful, they count their blessings , I do. But you still think it has got to the stage where feel so isolated that no one can help or the stage one thinks his family and friends are better off without them.

Nurse Ratched 11:28 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
WHOmail, Zeb.

zebthecat 11:26 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
If it is any consolation Nurse (and it probably won't be) we appear to be in a period where we are leaving the Russia, Turkey, Saudi and Iran ti indulge in pointless military adventurism.
For all his faults I don't think that Boris Johnson is inclined towards that sort of silliness and he will be PM for a decade probably so your son's tour could well be over by then.
Which regiment is he contemplating? Unless you son joins the Special Forces or Royal Engineers (they go to unexpected places) he should be OK.

Nurse Ratched 11:24 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
That is good news. But knowing my luck, the Cornish Separatists will kick off, he'll be deployed to sort them out, and end up getting decapitated by the sharp edge of a flying pasty.

Westham67 11:06 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
It must worrying I know I would be. On the positive side Afghanistan the Taliban the US and Afghani government are near a peace deal.

Nurse Ratched 10:23 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
Cheers, Peckham, but he wouldn't listen and he's made his mind up already. He starts training soon.

Tomshardware 10:01 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
When your mind gets to a certain place then suicide can seem a perfectly logical solution. As someone else has said it often makes no sense to the people left behind. It's a hugely complex thing to understand and if you've never suffered from mental health problems then you will struggle to comprehend why people choose to end their lives.

That said, the dark clouds do clear, so anyone feeling at rock bottom should talk to.someone. That can be the first step to getting better. No-one should feel alone with this because there's enough people on here who do understand what its like.

Peckham 9:49 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
Thanks for confirming that Ray, I have just ordered a copy from Amazon also.

Nurse, that is why I highly recommend anything but the infantry, due to the amount of people I have met or known come back from the middle east with out limbs or suffering from PTSD.
Invictus Games hits home how many disabled veterans there are, likewise Walking with the Wounded or go on the Help for Heroes website.

There are soldiers just getting help now from service in the Falklands google - Gus Hales for example. Combat Stress has failed many of his age.

Likewise as Northern said many people have enjoyed their service.

But if you are going to a theatre of War, it is never going to be all fun and games and the infantry have it tougher than most.

ray winstone 7:04 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
I bought my mate Reasons To Stay Alive by Matt Haig as seen on here, I started reading it last night before I send it to him and I think he's going to like it.

Westham67 6:37 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
I think my depression was exacerbated by being here for a full winter for first time since 2002

I had the shades on listening to house classic once the currant came out a week ago never to be seen again

Nurse Ratched 3:55 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
Cheers, Sold.

I suppose I am worried about what he will see and what he will have to do. Plus, apparently many ex forces struggle to come to terms with civvy street.

alfs barnet 2:48 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression

Replying...

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The title of your post:
Re: Anxiety/depression


Your message:




mashed in maryland wrote...


"Unfortunately in his mind this wasn't the case, and her believed that his daughter's life would be richer without him in it"


That is a genuine thing. A lot of people in that state really do logically think that they'll be doing their loved ones a favour if they end it all. Fucking impossible to reason with someone that low.


Indeed. It's the most frustrating thing for anyone who's list someone close to suicide.
My mother really couldn't cope with the fact that she felt she could have stopped it, talked him out if it if only she'd known.

mashed in maryland 2:38 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
"Unfortunately in his mind this wasn't the case, and her believed that his daughter's life would be richer without him in it"


That is a genuine thing. A lot of people in that state really do logically think that they'll be doing their loved ones a favour if they end it all. Fucking impossible to reason with someone that low.

alfs barnet 2:27 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
Manuel wrote...

Barnet - I don't need any wisdom from you, old fella. You are depressed because you don't see your kids as often as you would like so you then take an action that means you then don't see them at at all and vice versa? Completely ridiculous, but by all means you carry on rolling out the usual same old cliches.


Not really the thread to be starting arguments, but there you go.

If you've had any experience of depression or mental illness you'd understand that what seems irrational to you or I will seem completely rational to the person involved.

For instance the incident that pushed my brother towards taking his own life was relatively minor and could have been resolved easily. Unfortunately in his mind this wasn't the case, and her believed that his daughter's life would be richer without him in it. He adored his daughter and if he was thinking rationally he would have never done anything to hurt her. Unfortunately he wasn't thinking rationally so now she grows up without a father and will have to cope with the knowledge that her father took his own life when she eventually finds out.

Northern Sold 2:23 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression

Nurse Ratched 7:50 Mon Feb 17
Re: Anxiety/depression
All this talk of ex forces lads becoming depressed and suicidal makes me fear for my son's future. Horrible reading all that.



Nursey I know loads of people that have been ex-forces and the vast majority have loved their time serving her madge... I know of three jumpers out of our building since I have been here (20 years)... it's the person... not the job

Fruitbat 11:18 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
My thoughts are with anyone who has had depression - in all its many forms. It's hard to comment on anyone's specific circumstances or experience in any meaningful sense, but it is easy as a human being to feel compassion for someone who has fallen along the way.
The more faith, hope and sense of worth disappear and the deeper one falls into the mire, the harder it can be to get out, but it's not impossible. Often it needs a light bulb moment or epiphany to reverse things and begin the climb out. I know from close experience that these moments can be dramatic and illuminating.
Best regards to anyone who has suffered or is suffering from depression. Keep going.

Manuel 9:21 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
Barnet - I don't need any wisdom from you, old fella. You are depressed because you don't see your kids as often as you would like so you then take an action that means you then don't see them at at all and vice versa? Completely ridiculous, but by all means you carry on rolling out the usual same old cliches.

alfs barnet 7:44 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
Manuel wrote...

I'm sorry, but topping yourself because you spend less time with your kids makes no sense whatsoever.


Suicide rarely makes any sense apart from too the person taking their own life.

Manuel 3:55 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
I'm sorry, but topping yourself because you spend less time with your kids makes no sense whatsoever. So now he will never see them at all, miss seeing them grow up, and has left 2 kids without a father in this world. Must have been more to it than that.

Peckham 3:20 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
This poem was written for soldiers. But it can resonate with anybody who has to put on a mask and hide their pain and continue as if nothing is up. It's called the Mask.
" Get a grip, I'm expected to succeed, face fear, be strong and take the lead, not resilitate in thoughts or deed.
My mask must never slip.
Man up and keep my thoughts inside.
No one can know how much I cried,
When the bloodshed came and the fear arrived.
My mask must never slip.
Crack on there's no time to reflect or admit I did genuflect and prayed to god, for me to protect.
My mask must never slip.
Chin up! Worry not about how I feel, never let them know just how surreal it was. Dark thoughts I can't reveal.
My mask must never slip.

Peckham 3:14 Tue Feb 18
Re: Anxiety/depression
Just to add to my earlier post.
I met this lads parents.
He was part of a team protecting Harry.

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/901196/Prince-Harry-Afghanistan-soldier-dead-Army-PTSD-treatment

The Government as usual has done too little too late. There NHS for veterans service is beyond good but its only been recently invested in.

Otherwise it's only Charities that support Veterans and those unwell.

Can't underestimate how good the Royal British Legion is for support and care for former Soldiers.
But there are loads of good selfless charities running on tight budgets doing loads too.

PTSD from military service is the modern day Shell Shock in some way.

Sorry to bore all.

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