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Tomshardware 7:48 Mon Jan 13
Anxiety/depression

Been through bad time lately with suffering with this. Dark thoughts as well. I know some posters on here suffer with this. Anyone come through the other side of this shit?

A number of posters have been yellow carded and told to stay off this thread unless they have anything constructive to add.This is a thread that has been very useful to so many, for any other posters with scores to settle, argue on another thread.
This thread is sacrosant.Thank you

Stubbo 8:54 Fri Aug 30
Re: Anxiety/depression

Hang in there all.

This thread has now been migrated to the new site and is at:


https://forum.westhamonline.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=5164


We won't lock it here, but this site is on borrowed time. If you need any help moving across to the new site or accessing this thread, please WHOMail me.

panamahat 3:14 Thu Aug 29
Re: Anxiety/depression

Please stay strong fellas , Peckam & Pents , hard times right now & we all need to stick together & be what we are United , through all the injustice & division that is being lobbed our way !

Pentonville 6:13 Tue Aug 27
Re: Anxiety/depression

Cheers Manuel, ur right actually, i keep getting told to pull myself together and face it etc but that is so easier said than done. This country with custody is fucked. A woman can take ur child for no reason, make a load of shit up and then when u ask police to get involved they say its civil and by time i get this case done i wont have seen him for 6 months. they already trying to break the bond.
as for peckham, i apoligise for saying fight. that was lame. remeember what u r due from that housing company and remember its enough for most people to start afresh. i know u want to stay there but if thats impossible, try to comfort urself with the thought u will be away from the bullies and able to go by the sea.

Manuel 4:35 Tue Aug 27
Re: Anxiety/depression

Pents - Best of luck with that mate.

You often hear the 'fight' line but for me it's easier said than done, that's for sure, IMO you can only fight for so long and you have to have something worth fighting for. Hope it works out for you and Pecks.

Pentonville 11:25 Mon Aug 26
Re: Anxiety/depression

Peckham
please dont do that. you are worth more than that. i am sorry i have not been in touch. i am going through my own shit, ive been banged up and out then arrested again all on jumped up charges. ive also had to try and raise 25k to go to trial for child custody which is a nightmare. ive had the same thoughts as you trust me but i keep strong with the belief that we are worth more than that. fight fight fight mate.

Mike Oxsaw 9:42 Mon Aug 26
Re: Anxiety/depression

Tough read that, Pecks, but - and here I'm probably taking a liberty - We'd rather hear from you than about you.

If producing such writings helps, then I don't think anyone begrudges you that space & time. Rest assured that what you post is read, even if often no response is forthcoming.

Some of us (just me, probably) can often only wish we could do more but have yet to find a handle or hook onto your experiences to even start the process, however, we're all West Ham so you're not alone, even if it often seems that way.

Make sure that you register on the new site if & when you get the chance so you can keep posting once this one joins the "choir invisibule."

Best regards.

Peckham 12:07 Mon Aug 26
Re: Anxiety/depression

The redundant wanna be poet returns. I went to hang myself with a noose and end my life. I was in hotel and there is a Russian method to hang and die from door handle using tights. When I could not breath I panicked and cried. I had no knife to cut rope-tights so I had to use a lighter. now I have trouble breathing and am coughing up lots of blood.

I am self medicating self harming and slowly losing will to survive.

What is life living simply to survive rather than be happy.

Now diagnosed with Organic disoroder - Delirium and Dementia, have had pyscosis and some one a neighbour has punched me twice hard in the head and ran away. I now face anti social behaviour eviction and injunction and eviction from military veterans housing where i live and Chelsea FC own. Go to court for a trial September. I will not get council housing. Thanks to government and 15 years in Madrid I have already been homeless in East London. It was tough and shit.

Just miss my Mother and never felt so worthless and lost.

I have more friends dead than alive. If I had a gun - considering purchasing - it would make suicide so much easier.

A poem entitled Black Dog Death.


In the silence of midnight's veil,
A shadow dances, frail and pale,
It whispers soft, a mournful song,
A melody where hearts belong.

The moon, a sentinel in the sky,
Watches tears that dare not cry,
For pain is silent, hidden deep,
In souls where dreams have ceased to sleep.

Each breath a burden, each thought a knife,
Carving scars into the fabric of life,
Hope, a flicker in the dark,
But the night extinguishes every spark.

Loneliness, a cruel embrace,
An endless void, an empty space,
Where laughter fades, and echoes die,
Leaving only the question: why?

The world spins on, a distant blur,
Unseen, unheard, no longer sure,
If tomorrow's dawn will bring the light,
Or if the shadows will claim the night.

In the stillness, a final plea,
A wish to simply cease to be,
But in that silence, a voice remains,
A whisper of life amidst the pains.

Hold on, dear soul, through darkest night,
For somewhere, somehow, there is light,
A hand to hold, a heart to mend,
A broken path that still can bend.

The abyss calls, with siren song,
But the spirit knows where it belongs,
Not in the depths, not in the fall,
But in the strength to rise, to stand tall.

So breathe, though the air is thin,
Fight the darkness from within,
For in the night, when all seems lost,
The dawn breaks, no matter the cost.

Tomshardware 8:23 Thu Aug 22
Re: Anxiety/depression

Well done to side and anyone else who's weaned themselves off the meds. I've recently done the same, was on 40mg of Citalopram at one time. Gradually tapered off it and now going running regularly and get my high's from that now. Best wishes to all.

side effect 2:37 Wed Aug 21
Re: Anxiety/depression

Thanks Charley and Chim

That's week 5 done and it couldn't have gone any better.

Tapering is the only way.

The last few nights I was just sticking a finger in the liquid solution and dabbing a bit on the tongue

It can be done

charleyfarley 5:02 Mon Aug 19
Re: Anxiety/depression

Well done side effect...that must have been very difficult for you mate, glad it is all going well for you

chim chim cha boo 8:56 Mon Aug 19
Re: Anxiety/depression

side effect, you are another of all the posters I absolutely admire and think you are a lesson and inspiration to us all. If fact, most of the posters who take two steps forward and one back are desperately trying to get back on the rails (and especially have never been ON the rails because let's face it, some of us grew without positive role models and had dreadful early lives).

I come on here when a certain someone starts screaming at me me in the ticket booth around about 100 West Ham fans start looking at me and I let him fuck off angry (no reason why?) and embarrassingly having to walk around the whole stadium and find another seat.

It's fucking tough but remember we're WEST HAM and so are we.

side effect 12:16 Tue Aug 13
Re: Anxiety/depression

That's my first 4 weeks completed since quitting amitriptyline after 20 years and played to say no vivid nightmares or any other symptoms.

Infact feeling much better than I though.

Blessings to all.

MaryMillingtonsGhost 8:54 Mon Aug 12
Re: Anxiety/depression

chim chim cha boo

It's lovely to see so many of my favourite posters still fighting the good fight and despite so many 'black dog' days getting up and having another swing. Just because you suffer from mental health issues doesn't mean you're not made of the right stuff and there is seriously not a single poster on this thread I wouldn't be proud to share a trench with. Pretty remarkable when you think of it.


Great post fella

Pentonville 4:50 Mon Aug 12
Re: Anxiety/depression

Oxycotin is a fucking nightmare.
As is Quertiapine
As is Valium
Propanalol is also a bit if a mind bender over 40mg

Alot of you talk with naievty, ive been on every drug EXCEPT anti depressants. i didnt enjoy fluxuetine or sitrrinel or however u spell it. they can make u more suicidal. prozac is a zombie maker and a dick shriveller

heroin is sadly the best drug ever. cocaines is a cunts drug and fentenoyl is chinas way to win the world.

if u can get iit and u have anxiety, take 3 valium/diazepam 10mg. 8am, 13pm and 7pm. if u suffer at night from horrific nightmares, get ready cos it will give the cold sweats

ask for quertiapine, 25mg is managaeable. 50 mg makes u a bit too euphric when u wake,

oxycotine, no, stay the fuck away and im not sure they dish it out here

propanolol 40mg will relax u enough for 3 hours

Bungo 12:24 Mon Aug 12
Re: Anxiety/depression

chim chim cha boo 4:56 Mon Aug 12
Re: Anxiety/depression

"well look at Oxycontin, 'the non-adictive opioid wonder drug'. If I miss a dose of that I shake like a shitting dog".

Not sure where 'non-addictive wonder drug' comes from, but as someone that was involved in its launch, hopefully nobody involved would ever have claimed that?

As a powerful opiod it is as addictive as any other drug in that class. It's USP at launch was that it had a very wide range of doses from weak to strong, the idea being that a clinician could start a patient on it that they knew would require higher doses eventually, and get them settled on the drug without having to chop and change later on.

It made sense to a degree, but UK doctors tend to be (rightly) very conservative, so most were concerned about starting patients on an opioid albeit at a low dose, before they really needed it.

Abuse of all these drugs is an issue, partially solved by many now coming in the form of a 'matrix' patch that doesn't allow people to extract the fluid as they did from the older 'reservoir' patches (I never noticed the movie link there before!) :)

chim chim cha boo 4:56 Mon Aug 12
Re: Anxiety/depression

Bungo, well look at Oxycontin, 'the non-adictive opioid wonder drug'. If I miss a dose of that I shake like a shitting dog.

It's lovely to see so many of my favourite posters still fighting the good fight and despite so many 'black dog' days getting up and having another swing. Just because you suffer from mental health issues doesn't mean you're not made of the right stuff and there is seriously not a single poster on this thread I wouldn't be proud to share a trench with. Pretty remarkable when you think of it.

⚒️COME ON YOU IRONS⚒️

Bungo 11:18 Thu Aug 8
Re: Anxiety/depression

chim chim cha boo 3:37 Sun Jul 28

The widespread prescribing of amitriptyline is due to a few things.

It is cheap and cheerful as the majority of generic drugs are. Many clinicians will use amitriptyline first line because of the cost, but also because it has been around a long time so it is now indicated for several different conditions. Also, many clinicians have now amassed a lot of personal experience with it, which counts for a lot in terms of their confidence in what they are prescribing.

Against this is the fact that it is a relatively old ‘dirty’ drug, that does often give patients a lot of unpleasant side effects. It can also be extremely dangerous in overdose.
As ever, the choice has to be whether the individual feels that the benefits outweigh the negatives for him or her. That’s what really counts.

It is also very true that many doctors distrust drugs that apparantly have ‘no’ side effects. I remember at least one instance in the 90s when a new product launched with virtually no side effects was viewed with great mistrust by doctors, until the manufacturers actively publicised some different trial results, which showed more side effects. Then they started to trust it and prescribe it!

Pentonville 8:05 Wed Aug 7
Re: Anxiety/depression

Quertapine? awful. stops ptsd by givimng u euphoric dreams that shock u when u wake and realise they aint true

Westham67 4:56 Sun Aug 4
Re: Anxiety/depression

I lost weight and eating normally again. I don't weigh myself I go by how my clothes fit and in 6 weeks 34 to 32 waist. No nightmares no cannot get out of bed in the morning

Endless repeat prescriptions are easier for a GP there is no planned off-ramp for pain and mental health medication

side effect 3:19 Sun Aug 4
Re: Anxiety/depression

Thanks 67

It's almost 3 weeks and feeling really well. Also slept quite well last night for the first time.

Before I started this I weighed myself on Southend pier and was 12st 10lbs. 3 years later and off those other meds I'm struggling to reach 9st.

Westham67 6:24 Sat Aug 3
Re: Anxiety/depression

Good luck side. I weaned myself off of Sertraline and other non-stop repeat prescriptions medication and off al meds for about six weeks and feel much better for it

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