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chim chim cha boo 9:49 Thu Mar 26
The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Popping into the pub on the way home?

Bog roll?

Tins of beans.

Having a job.

West Ham...

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

Alfie 5:27 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Indeed it does sir. Its in the garden

gank 4:58 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Alfie, does your garden back onto the pub?

lowermarshhammer 4:38 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Arf. I deal with shit like that on a routine basis. In fact I don't mind. Out of service. Return to depot.

Alfie 4:36 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Not all that long ago i fell spark asleep in the bar - fell sideways off a moderately high bar stool - snashed my forrid on the bar top - and slumped sideways off the stool unconcsious into a load of glasses and optics.

When i came round - i had massively shit myself too. Proper had a turn out. When i came too i had no idea what had occured - then realised the shorts situation. Took me a minute or so to suss what had occured - then managed to extract myself - waddled out of bar and down the garden pinching the legs to contain it - took my shorts off and hid them under some grass cuttings in the brown bin.

Went in - showered - then went akip on the sofa. This was about 4am.

Got away with it - she had no idea. Enquired with neighbours - theyd not seen. Got away with it. Not told a soul before now.

Not proud - but shit happens.

lowermarshhammer 4:34 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Yeah yeah you weren't pissing up the wall.

gank 4:31 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
"Half funny piss story"

Not even half right

lowermarshhammer 4:28 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Obviously driving the choo choo I routinely see refreshed punters surreptitiously trying to have a piss where they shouldn't. Love hitting the train whistle and startling the cunts. Piss all over themselves. Ha ha. Amateurs.

lowermarshhammer 4:24 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
How I've never been nicked for pissing wherever is a mystery to me.

lowermarshhammer 4:21 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Half funny piss story.

Maybe 1988. Around then anyway. 3 of my bestest mates to this very day were musicians back then. Almost made it but I wouldn't dream of boring you with that shit...

Back of a transit van. All of us busting for a pissed up piss. STOP THE VAN. We all get out. Piss against the nearest wall. Right up against the BMA headquarters. Not giving a teenage fuck.

2005. 14 people blown to shit exact same place where we'd stopped that transit.

Mad world.

gank 4:17 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
"The act is what she moan about"

No coincidence I was just reading the thread about Lilt/Um Bungo/Kia Ora

gank 4:16 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Obviously not a seasoned pisshead. You don't go in an empty bottle and you DEFINITELY don't go against a fence, you fucking dunce!

The noise is what annoys the woman, not the act itself. The act is what she moan about, but it wasn't the urine that woke her, it was the splash-smack against a firm substrate that did the sinful deed of awaken Kraken.

So what to do next time? Kids sand pit is ideal. Mud still makes a slapping noise and splashes back. Hole in the fence into next door is absolutely ideal and you know your kids won't be shovelling piss-soaked sand into their gobs in the morning too.

Or a nappy.

Alfie 4:14 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
None of the neighbours suspect.

No matter where i roam. I will come back to my english rose

Alfie 4:09 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
I will now empty it against the back fence while pretending to check the garden for intruders.

Like the great escape - only with a half litre coke bottle of piss as opposed to gobbets of earth dug out of an escape tunnel

Sprinkles the waste water upon the grass

Alfie 4:06 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Too late ive just pissed in an ampty coke bottle behind the bar

Quitee enjoyed it

lowermarshhammer 4:05 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Check first.

lowermarshhammer 4:05 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Check first.

lowermarshhammer 4:04 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Don't piss on a hedgehog.

Alfie 4:00 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
Isit permissible at this juncture - tohave a piss in my garden?

Wife and as far as can tell neighboyrs are asleep. Is it ok? Will be against back fence which is mine.

If you say it is ok i will take tgat as gospel.

Alfs 3:56 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...

gph 2:24 Sat Mar 28

That's the spirit!

gph 3:52 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
"Honestly modern football is a pile of old virus."

TBF, there's been something wrong with ManU fans for a long time.

Alfie 3:46 Sat Mar 28
Re: The post-apocalypse reminiscence thread. Do you remember...
I recall with gay abandon de first time i had a can of Lilt.

My god back then it was so imperceptibly delicious and fruitilly ecotic. Even the fuckin can was yellowy green - like the anazon rainforest on a metal lozenge.


It reminded me very much of Africa. This was reinforced by the advertising which was all about Jamaica - Africa and smoking the chillum. Fuck sake i used to love dat drink mon.

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