The Ashes.

[only1billybonds]

Just been announced that Josh Hazlewood will miss the first test due to start in Perth next Friday. This is a big blow to the Australians as they will already be without their captain and no.1 pace bowler Pat Cummins.

Englands preparations for the tour has been questioned by many as they have opted to play no warm up games aside from a one off against the English lions. 

Many are saying that its crucial that we get of to a good start in Perth which basically means we cant afford to lose seeing as the 2nd test in Brisbane is a day/night game ( fucking ridiculous) where the Aussies are strongly fancied.

Looking forward to this now but really unsure of how it will play out, I guess I'd still make them slight favourites due to home advantage. Going to be a few all nighters in the coming weeks for me, let's hope it'll be worth it.

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

Justin Langer was my favourite convict , and his views  carry a lot of weight with me.
 he said good morning  to stokes and got blanked and stokes looked shot to shit..(not what he actually said but what I took from it)

[Takashi Miike]

[southbankbornnbred]

I don’t mind if he stays on as test captain. Providing he understands, genuinely, that the next phase for England has to be about doing things properly on a technical level. Not cutting corners and trying to circumvent graft.

Theres an irony in all of this with Stokes. He has superb technique, especially with the bat. And he can graft. But he is wedded to the broad mentality of slogball and so he wants to pick other players who aren’t as good as him at it. So he stays loyal to that awful top 3 etc, and keepers who can’t catch.

He’s good enough to lead a test side that prepares and plays properly. But he needs to rid himself of the Bazbollocks. 

[Westside]

Yeah, agree about Stokes’ fitness. He’s an arrogant, prickly bloke who has doubled-down after his brainwashed ideology was exposed. But he’s one heck of a talented cricketer - and he’s put his body through hell for England.

But he’s falling apart. Would not be surprised if he decides to only play ODIs and T20s for England after this tour - which would force the ECB’s hand anyway.

He’d make a fortune in the IPL, Hundred and Big Bash over the next few years. His body would get more rest if he became a one-day specialist.

At international level, Stokes is trying to prolong his test career. He knocked 50 over ODI's on the head in 2022, coming back for the 2023 World Cup, but hasn't played an ODI since November 2023. And he's not played a T20 Internation since 2022.  After the end of The Ashes, their's virtually a 5 month gap to England's next test

I see him staying as Test Captain and a player (fitness permitting) until after the one off test in Convict Land in March 2027 and the  2027 home Ashes (not much more than 18 months away to that series). Suspect he will retire from test cricket after  then, along with Root. 

[southbankbornnbred]

Yeah, agree about Stokes’ fitness. He’s an arrogant, prickly bloke who has doubled-down after his brainwashed ideology was exposed. But he’s one heck of a talented cricketer - and he’s put his body through hell for England.

But he’s falling apart. Would not be surprised if he decides to only play ODIs and T20s for England after this tour - which would force the ECB’s hand anyway.

He’d make a fortune in the IPL, Hundred and Big Bash over the next few years. His body would get more rest if he became a one-day specialist.

[Westham67]

Stokes' fitness would be a worry if he contirues as captain. Bethell has been serving drinks to the England players all summer, so whether he is ready to fill in for Pope is questionable.

Many of the team were picked because they drank the Kool-Aid of Bazball, to play gung-ho test cricket. If Baz and Key go, the new regime will need to look at a new top order for test cricket. Another poster mentioned Brooks. I don't think he has the mentality to play non-Bazball test cricket

[southbankbornnbred]

By that, I mean the next skipper is going to be weighed down by a lot of challenges and will need to oversee a big transition. It’s going to be a rough ride, and they won’t get everything right.

It’s the skipper in three or four years’ time who we should be seeking to develop.

There’s even a case for retaining Stokes - but only providing he’s contrite enough to use his huge mistakes as a blueprint of how not to do things.

[southbankbornnbred]

I sort of think the next skipper doesn’t matter too much.

The most important appointments in the immediate future will be finding genuinely talented folk to replace Key and McCullum. And then going back to grassroots cricket in terms of how they coach test players, with the focus entirely on technique - not magic beans and “momentum”.

County cricket is not awash with great prospects, but they’re are some who should be tried out. We might get worse before we get better - but the hard yards and graft needs to be done now. No more short cuts and bullshit.

Get back to fundamentals, get the coaching right at all levels, and start developing test talent again. I want to see a new Chef before the next Zak Crawley.





 

[southbankbornnbred]

I'm coming to the view of making Duckett captain. Yes, he has had a poor series but he has a healthy test average for an opener and conducts himself well and is of the right age. An opener as captain also seems more natural for test cricket (Gooch, Atherton, Strauss and Cook all doing good jobs at in in the past).

I have gone completely off the idea of making Brook the next test captain.

Duckett is one of the most players most under threat when they move on from Baaaaazbollocks. So definitely wouldn’t make him skipper.

But it’s thin gruel at the moment, fo sho’.

[zebthecat]

I'm coming to the view of making Duckett captain. Yes, he has had a poor series but he has a healthy test average for an opener and conducts himself well and is of the right age. An opener as captain also seems more natural for test cricket (Gooch, Atherton, Strauss and Cook all doing good jobs at in in the past).

I have gone completely off the idea of making Brook the next test captain.

His record as ODI captain is poor and he seems to be really childish.
His brainless reverse sweep and reaction to getting bowled was the final nail in that coffin. 

[Massive Attack]

Stick with Stokes for now and see what he does under a different Coach first. 

[zebthecat]

After being out for months Cummins saying he is unlikely to play at Melbourne with the series won. 
Back to the Brisbane team … no Cummins no Lyon no Hazlewood 
Starc Boland & either Neser or Doggett
Murphy or Kuhneman to replace Lyon
Smith & Webster for Inglis & Green 

England unchanged?

 

 

I don't thnk there is anyone who can come in.
Potts for Carse perhaps as the latter is far too expensive.
Bethell for Pope but batting further down the order with someone else at 3. Perhaps Root should finally take responsibilty and have a go. I know he is not keen but, fuck it, he is best option by far.

[Come On You Irons]

I'm coming to the view of making Duckett captain. Yes, he has had a poor series but he has a healthy test average for an opener and conducts himself well and is of the right age. An opener as captain also seems more natural for test cricket (Gooch, Atherton, Strauss and Cook all doing good jobs at in in the past).

I have gone completely off the idea of making Brook the next test captain.

[Far Cough UKunt]

The best captain we've had was Mike Brearley who was very average as a player.

[zebthecat]

England have a habit of making their best player captain and it doesn't work all the time.
Botham, Flintoff, Root and Stokes are not good captains but all great players.
I see that Ben Stokes is criticising the bowlers but it is himself that sets the fields and dictates tactics such as banging the ball in halfway up the pitch and refusing to have a third man while leaking runs there.
Harry Brook is no captain either.

[Fauxstralian]

Stokes probably has a couple of years of Test cricket left
Reckon he’d be better concentrating on his own game.
He leads by example anyway so he doesn’t need to be captain. He is hardly a tactical genius 

Problem is they booted Pope as vice captain & he could be out of the team the way he is going
Made Brook vice captain & he has probably been the biggest disappointment of the series
Brainless shots & some gormless comments. Not sure anything about him screams captain in waiting 

Rehan Ahmed would be picked on his county form
Just helps he is playing cricket (any cricket) at the moment down the road from Melbourne 
Saw a social media post saying they should have called over Johnny Bairstow. He won’t have played for 4 months & is on his 45th mince pie. Maybe could have used one of those Adelaide Oval marquees to run him up a pair of trousers 

[southbankbornnbred]

Spinners?
Rehan Ahmed just bowled Mohammad Rizwan with a beautiful quicker ball down at Geelong in the Big Bash

I think England’s test side need to move well past the idea of picking any player based on anything that happens in a t20 match. That’s been part of the problem!

He’s a talented player - but let him show it in the multi-day game.

[southbankbornnbred]

You wan’t Stokes the player, but maybe not Stokes the captain. Unless he shows some genuine contrition, admits he bought into a massive/misplaced cult, and stops acting like a spoilt child.

[southbankbornnbred]

Good fucking riddance to McCullum and Key - pair of absolute numpties selling magic beans. Let McCullum take his travelling suitcase of fraud elsewhere. Let Key go and manage Kent.

Bid decision pending on Stokes’ captaincy. He’s a superb cricketer and walks into the strongest XI. But he’s a major (perhaps biggest) contributor to the the arrogant, prickly, “couldn’t give a shit” culture of this team.

I genuinely don’t like this England side. They’re a right bunch of cunts. It takes a lot to make an Australian side with Steve Smith in it look like the more approachable group.

[Westside]

 

Australia is where English batsmen go to die

This century, of the 50 English players to go on an Ashes tour (not including this one), 26 of them never played test cricket for England again, after the tour. 

Your boy Hameed being one of them. An opener who averages 24 in 10 tests and was dropped after the last away Ashes debacle. And you think he is the answer to replace Crawley?

Absolutely laughable.

And those batsmen picked ahead of him, have performed with such distinction on this tour.

[Fauxstralian]

Spinners?
Rehan Ahmed just bowled Mohammad Rizwan with a beautiful quicker ball down at Geelong in the Big Bash

[Massive Attack]

The preparation for this series will be a big issue for Key because England only started to become accustomed to the Austrian conditions in the 3rd test

No wonder we lost our way this series.

[Fauxstralian]

Plenty of openers come in and get found out after starting ok before going away to improve and come back
Hayden & Langer for example 
Hameed has worked on his game after changing counties
Averaged 66 in captaining Notts to the championship 

To find a spinner it would help if McCullum stopped interfering in the work of groundsmen 
End the ordering of pitches that will last 8 days with 60m boundaries 

[Fauxstralian]

After being out for months Cummins saying he is unlikely to play at Melbourne with the series won. 
Back to the Brisbane team … no Cummins no Lyon no Hazlewood 
Starc Boland & either Neser or Doggett
Murphy or Kuhneman to replace Lyon
Smith & Webster for Inglis & Green 

England unchanged?

[Come On You Irons]

 

 

Australia is where English batsmen go to die

This century, of the 50 English players to go on an Ashes tour (not including this one), 26 of them never played test cricket for England again, after the tour. 

Your boy Hameed being one of them. An opener who averages 24 in 10 tests and was dropped after the last away Ashes debacle. And you think he is the answer to replace Crawley?

Absolutely laughable.