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Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
- stubbo-admin
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Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
Signed, Sealed. Delivered.
5 year contract (until he's 32!!). 26m + Add Ons.
Welcome Taty. Good Luck!
5 year contract (until he's 32!!). 26m + Add Ons.
Welcome Taty. Good Luck!
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eusebiovic
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
Despite the fact his knees are shot to pieces as well as his hamstrings 
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eusebiovic
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
This Taty lad was prolific in the MLS but that is an overvalued league that lacks real quality other than ex-superstars in their dotage.
I hope he can help us but it doesn't look likely.
There are lads playing in our National League who could comfortably hold their own against the rest of the chaff in the MLS - regardless of the fact you need to stump up 1billion dollars to join the closed shop in the first place.
I hope he can help us but it doesn't look likely.
There are lads playing in our National League who could comfortably hold their own against the rest of the chaff in the MLS - regardless of the fact you need to stump up 1billion dollars to join the closed shop in the first place.
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Eerie Decent
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
They both looked alright. Neither of them has the thing the whole side badly lacks, though.
And they certainly won't keep us up.
And they certainly won't keep us up.
- Massive Attack
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
Pablo looked more threatening that he did with a lot less minutes on the pitch.
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eusebiovic
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
Sácame de este carajo - would probably be the best translation literally "Get me out of this shithole"
Carajo usually gets used to express dismay as it means fuck or also used to convey shithole/hell
Carajo usually gets used to express dismay as it means fuck or also used to convey shithole/hell
Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
Far cough
"sácame de aquí" (Im learning spanish)
Dont know how "the fuck" would be translated in thia contest
Dut I do know "me cago en la lecce" ia how spanish would express "fuck jt" it translates for some reason to "i shit in the milk"
"sácame de aquí" (Im learning spanish)
Dont know how "the fuck" would be translated in thia contest
Dut I do know "me cago en la lecce" ia how spanish would express "fuck jt" it translates for some reason to "i shit in the milk"
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eusebiovic
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
Does anyone think this guy and Pablo Phil have been signed with a view to next season in the Championship?
- El Scorchio
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- Far Cough UKunt
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- Massive Attack
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
Wilson even at 33/34yo up top over him all day long in this clinical ruthless League.
- El Scorchio
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
I thought he looked like he wanted it far more than most of the others and did what he could. Tried to hold a high line and get the others forward. He’s surround by utter shit though. Utter utter shit.
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eusebiovic
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
Yet again spunking 25m on a player with no obvious sign of any notable pace...
Looks earnest and puts a shift in but so did Trevor Morley and he was a bargain.
Looks earnest and puts a shift in but so did Trevor Morley and he was a bargain.
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Eerie Decent
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
twoleftfeet wrote: ↑06 Jan 2026, 22:44Eerie Decent" wrote: ↑06 Jan 2026, 22:42 As feared, an average player with not much pace, who doesn't have one stand out asset that the team lack.
Don't get me wrong, we lack a fucking lot, but at least if he was a monster in the air, or lightening quick, or strong as an Ox, we could rely on that in moments. Instead, he's just a bit... average.
a 7/10 on his very best day. Terrific.One game? Fucking hell. I thought we would give them a few games to settle in.
Yes, one game, numerous clips, and from what pretty much everyone has said about him who has regularly seen him play in the past.
I'm not slagging him off, I've not said he's shit, I'm saying he's average.
We need a miracle, you pleb, and this player is not that. £25mil for a short striker who has no real pace, with a below average scoring record. What's the fucking point?
I'm not slagging him off, I've not said he's shit, I'm saying he's average.
We need a miracle, you pleb, and this player is not that. £25mil for a short striker who has no real pace, with a below average scoring record. What's the fucking point?
- Massive Attack
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
His boots are shaped like 50p pieces. Still can't get over that effort that landed to him plum in the box first half only to shank it back to where it came from out wide with no one near him.
What is it about us spunking away £25M on Striker dross. He did run about a bit, I'll give him that damning by faint praise.
Both Mendes and Nuno have absolutely seen us coming...
Both Mendes and Nuno have absolutely seen us coming...
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twoleftfeet
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
Eerie Decent" wrote: ↑06 Jan 2026, 22:42 As feared, an average player with not much pace, who doesn't have one stand out asset that the team lack.
Don't get me wrong, we lack a fucking lot, but at least if he was a monster in the air, or lightening quick, or strong as an Ox, we could rely on that in moments. Instead, he's just a bit... average.
a 7/10 on his very best day. Terrific.
One game? Fucking hell. I thought we would give them a few games to settle in.
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Eerie Decent
- Posts: 1330
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
As feared, an average player with not much pace, who doesn't have one stand out asset that the team lack.
Don't get me wrong, we lack a fucking lot, but at least if he was a monster in the air, or lightening quick, or strong as an Ox, we could rely on that in moments. Instead, he's just a bit... average.
a 7/10 on his very best day. Terrific.
Don't get me wrong, we lack a fucking lot, but at least if he was a monster in the air, or lightening quick, or strong as an Ox, we could rely on that in moments. Instead, he's just a bit... average.
a 7/10 on his very best day. Terrific.
- stubbo-admin
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
Nutsin wrote: ↑06 Jan 2026, 14:20 Some cսnt will kick him up in the air and he’ll come down with a season ending injury if he’s any good.
It’s the West Ham way.
We still need a center back or two and we still haven’t replaced Declan.
Until we address these 3 positions we will continue to leak too many goals.
As for a keeper that remains a concern but we can’t expect to fix everything this window, can we?
IMO Declan is irreplaceable. A genuinely world class talent who currently looks the best player in the league give or take. A talisman, do everything, covr for others deficiencies midfielder.
We've replaced him...Magassa, Alvarez, Fernandes....trouble is none of them are fit to lace his boots.
We've replaced him...Magassa, Alvarez, Fernandes....trouble is none of them are fit to lace his boots.
Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
Some cսnt will kick him up in the air and he’ll come down with a season ending injury if he’s any good.
It’s the West Ham way.
We still need a center back or two and we still haven’t replaced Declan.
Until we address these 3 positions we will continue to leak too many goals.
As for a keeper that remains a concern but we can’t expect to fix everything this window, can we?
It’s the West Ham way.
We still need a center back or two and we still haven’t replaced Declan.
Until we address these 3 positions we will continue to leak too many goals.
As for a keeper that remains a concern but we can’t expect to fix everything this window, can we?
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camel-with-3-humps
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
I like him. I think he's going to be good.
He can link up play, is quick and strong. He'll be a menace at least.
He can link up play, is quick and strong. He'll be a menace at least.
- stubbo-admin
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eusebiovic
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Re: Valentin (Taty) Castellanos
The thing is Todibo wouldn't be so unmotivated if he had a half decent defender alongside him. I actually think Mavropanos would be more than O.K if he knew there was somebody to sweep up behind him. Trouble is, Todibo/Mavro don't look a comfortable pairing together but both would both be much better with a really good player next to them.
That comes down to our pin the tail on the donkey recruitment which comes back to the old Einstein quote about doing the same thing each time and expecting a different result. Madness.
In this day and age it shouldn't be difficult to sign players that compliment each other rather than the tried and tested shitshow that our senile dictator and plastic woman keep shovelling up every season.
Kilman is a shocker - a centre back with no leadership skills and if Igor was any good he would already be ahead of the other rabble. But there we go again, another centre half with the turning circle of the QE2.
Marvelous!
That comes down to our pin the tail on the donkey recruitment which comes back to the old Einstein quote about doing the same thing each time and expecting a different result. Madness.
In this day and age it shouldn't be difficult to sign players that compliment each other rather than the tried and tested shitshow that our senile dictator and plastic woman keep shovelling up every season.
Kilman is a shocker - a centre back with no leadership skills and if Igor was any good he would already be ahead of the other rabble. But there we go again, another centre half with the turning circle of the QE2.
Marvelous!