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young woody 1:57 Wed Nov 17
Best man speech advice

Doing a best man speech next weekend. Pretty much sorted it but is there any advice from those who have done them previously.


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madeeasy 3:42 Thu Nov 18
Re: Best man speech advice
If it is your brother that is getting married you can always use.

To the bride, if you want to know what groom will look like in 20 years we have uncle x here, can i please ask uncle x to please stand up, when he does say, oh well never mind at least you have got a decent looking brother in law.

El Scorchio 2:48 Thu Nov 18
Re: Best man speech advice
Oh, also be sure not to call the groom's dad a wanker. I wasn't at that particular wedding but my parents were. Needless to say, people were not impressed.

El Scorchio 2:41 Thu Nov 18
Re: Best man speech advice
Don't talk about the bride previously having had an overdose. From witnessing a very ill thought out best man's speech which resulted in tears and a fight and the groom never talking to the best man again, I can safely say it won't go down well.

Russ of the BML 2:10 Thu Nov 18
Re: Best man speech advice
You have probably had all the advice you need.

But all I will say is please, please, please avoid in jokes. Been to a few weddings where the best man cracks a joke which nobody understands and he and the groom and sniggering. You also find another little group of blokes around the table are also laughing.

Everybody else is just sitting smiling at their fun feeling like a mass of gooseberry's in the room.

I went to one where this went on for about half an hour. People rolling their eyes in the end. I just got up and went out for fag and was then joint by more people.

Stubbo 1:07 Thu Nov 18
Re: Best man speech advice
Only advice I have is to remember the audience see the Groom as the 'hero' at these events, so they want amusing but ultimately not belittling/offensive jibes about him.

Avoid in-jokes, and anything you couldn't tell to and expect to get a smile from an elderly relative.

Ultimately, people want you to be funny, but also to see some kindness and affection for both the groom and them as a couple. If there is anything that is a bit 'close to the mark' just hint at the situation and let people fill in the blanks, rather than painting too vivid a picture...and of course nothing overtly sexual or related to the groom and former partners.

Sure you know all this anyway and will smash it. I've only done it once, but do it well and you're everyone's best friend after dinner.

PostmanPissed 12:59 Thu Nov 18
Re: Best man speech advice
At a mates wedding the best man was telling a story of how my mate and his wife met and how she meant everything to him, the best man finished that story with "____was on top of his world that night!"

if you go with that one stay don't look at the father of the bride and stay well away from him for the rest of the night.

Block 12:53 Thu Nov 18
Re: Best man speech advice
Woody, you'll smash it mate.

Don't do what I did though, said that I couldn't talk about ex wives, girlfriends and anything bad, so I just pulled my trousers down and showed my arse to everyone.

* I was high as a kite when I Done this and regretted it ever since,

I did, however get a load of fucking laughs.

dealcanvey 12:52 Thu Nov 18
Re: Best man speech advice
Say you're really nervous but the Groom has said if you do a good job you can be best man again at his next wedding.

Ewan Whosearmy 12:47 Thu Nov 18
Re: Best man speech advice
I'm sure you know this, but remember a listening audience has to take a little time to process what's being said, so pause after key sentences to let them take it in.

Possible opening: " Ladies and Gentlemen, how am I going to be able to cram all the happy memories I have about X in a mere 45 minute speech?"

chevy chase 2:47 Thu Nov 18
Re: Best man speech advice
Make stuff up. i.e where they met and what stuff he’s got upto over the years.

BRANDED 1:25 Thu Nov 18
Re: Best man speech advice
I'd just thank everybody and say

" right lets get fucked you massive retards"

Aberdeen Iron 1:22 Thu Nov 18
Re: Best man speech advice
Are either of them Scottish? Slip in a deep fried joke if so.

Queens Fish Bar 11:29 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice
Be funny, don't be a cunt.

Tomshardware 8:47 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice
I'm not very good at public speaking I piss pronunciate a lot of my worms........

young woody 8:07 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice
Thanks all its much appreciated

Pedro 7:58 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice
Been best man a few times

One time was for mate who is a Arsenal fan.

I made a big thing of it and how much he loves them etc. I said I had spent last week battling to get a historic piece of Arsenal history which had seemingly disappeared from the archives.

I then handed over a video of the 1980 fa cup final.

The audience were half West Ham and half arsenal so it went down well for some!

yngwies Cat 7:53 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice
I think Young Woody and Ed should swap speaches.

Grumpster 7:35 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice
Bullet points unless you lo e attention......

You know everything you want to say, so a lfew words about the next part of the speech and then wing it instead of writing it all down and attempting to read it through the sweat and stress of the occasion with everyone staring at you expecting a belter.

Have seen some absolute cluster fucks where people write essays and can't find where they were before melting away.

Browno22 6:45 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice
As an icebreaker just something like.. Afternoon ladies and gentlemen. And apologies if you identify as one of the other 50 genders

Browno22 6:41 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice
Agree with zico, put it on cards rather than loads of typed out pages. I did my brothers wedding recently and it's more fun than you think. Just act confident and people will love it

4ever-blowin-bubbles 6:32 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice
Never done it so NO but good luck and as they say it will be alright on the night

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